I want to write about something and related to my mind. It’s hard to open up about me, but as I told Nese, I’ve always been open to everything. Today I talked to my friend and she is from Turkey and knows me well.

My friends help me a lot of how I was, and I see that I still am. So my friends explain to me that I always loved to be open. It was after my first coma and hallucinations. But sometimes ask me if I hallucinate what I see is reality or not?

In my first coma that I had, I was in Thailand. And when I woke up I was sure I was poisoned.

But even so I continued to hear words inside my head, and voices to me and as if I heard people on the side of the house.

I wanted to tell you how it’s been helping a lot with Denise’s therapy. That’s help me lot, I want to keep

This year Denise Invited me to go in a class of Gyaltsen Tsering, and he is from Tibet. The meeting was at the zoon. He lives in India and there is a Brazilian nun who translates his words.

Sense I was born in Brazil,But my languages were mixed. Even if my parents all from Brazil, But my school was in French, And as a little child it was an English.

It will be easier to ask a question a belt my brain send any English. But I knew that I was supposed to speak in Portuguese.

I tried to ask a simple question. I thought I had hallucination. Oh and when I send, The Brazilian nun asked me what I have. Watch disease that I have. I thought that I had 2 comas, and a speech therapist. So even in my mind I am trapped by speaking and writing. So I tried.But the more I realize, when it affects me in an emotional way, it turns into an epileptic fit.
In my first coma that I had, I was in Thailand. And when I woke up I was sure I was poisoned.

But the Lama had me here to meditate on how to put my foot down. Let your mind stay on its feet. Pay attention to be present. Every now you will go out and try to get back on foot. And stop and wait and ask yourself is it real? Stop and meditate for your mind and stay still and then you will question is it possible that your mind is doing or real?

But even so, I continued to hear words inside my head, and voices to me and as if I heard people on the side of the house.

It happened this year, but I remembered the Tibetan Buddhist I met.

I had never been of any religion, but I had friends all over the world, so I tried to learn.

In 2008 I was in India and I went to Dharamsala and met Denise. Dalai Lama was teaching a course on Buddhism and I took it. His first words of his “don’t be Buddhist, respect all religions, but respect what’s inside you”. I found it admirable because I didn’t want to convert anyone.

I was with Haiko and I spoke English, but I had already heard Portuguese and I met Denise. As I didn't know anything about Buddhism and we became friends. Denise asked me if I wanted to go to Karmapa, I decided to read it, I said yes.

Karmapa is an important Lama like the Dalai Lama, but even I never believed in anything, but I wanted to go and I went.

I had thought it would be a class with the Dalai Lama, so I would learn something. But Denise was responsible for the Buddhist temple in Espírito Santo.

I was so shocked because there I heard his words, but that we would have a private place. When I even went to ask a lama what I should do.He gave me a tissue, told me to put my head on the floor, count three times and ask a questions.

So hard for me just one question but I’ve always bent down and I don’t know what’s the matter with my brain.Karmapa told me it's all in your mind and I will always be with you.

Perhaps to you, it seems like a simple answer. At that time I wanted to thank you, but I think differently. That answer is deeper.

But at that time I wanted to say thank you, even if I didn’t think it was simple. As she lived in London Denise asked me if she could bring her gift. It was a gift for Lama Lobsang

Lama Lobsang was teaching Buddhism in Europe. He lived in London and became my friend, or rather a teacher without my having given his lectures.

Lama Lobsang came to my college to get his gift, even when he said he could take it. We met at LSE and our conversations started .

Lama Lobsang came to my house many times, but I remember he invited me to go to his house. That’s the day I was that sprayed it about my brain. .

Once again he called me and told me I should go to his house. I didn’t want to because I was desperate for my brain.

When I got to his house, I started talking about my brain.

But Lama Lobsang, didn’t react to anything. He told me to go to the kitchen and told me to sit down. He asked me to be silent for the kitchen. He asked me to stay still and I watched with him putting the food.

We ate very calmly and talked, but as we were transferred to another part of the house he said to me: “The head”Everything came back, I started talking and my brain started to stories, to despair and nervousness.

I remember Lama Lobsang so well said
“Jules you make up your mind, you attack yourself, you have to calm you mind. “ I remember that he would always say do you have everything why do you destroy yourself” You are intelligent you are beautiful you can afford everything”

Those words were strong. But even after Lama Lobsang dyed . And when he calm me and I did not pick up. I regret because all of his works words he taught me a lot .

I had even asked Lama Lobsang what he thought of Vipassana. I even remember that I was afraid that I could not fo out. “

But it’s been years since I’ve not been meditating and dealing with myself and listening from the inside and outside. It is hard when it is inside and out.

“Meditation we have our level it is not a prison otherwise you’re not we have a deal with her self”

Denise makes me wake up and go back to how she always was. I advocate medicine but meditation helps. As I imagine my religious friends ask for the company of God and Goddesses.

Sometimes I still wonder if it’s true or not , but at least I’m getting better. The floral also helps me a lot and even for me to be open to you.

So I want to share we have to come our mind. It doesn’t matter about our disease we had to calm ourselves.

Love,

Jules

I was in the hospital yesterday, and I’m grateful. How many times have I abandoned medicine. I’m taking Cortizone and Rituximab.

How many times have I taken. Sometimes I looked at the side effects, got desperate and stopped the treatment. I always thought the natural way would be better. So I ended up having 2 comas and a lot of brain damage.
So I want to tell you from the beginning of medicine came into my life. I want to show you how my first epileptic fit started which was in Morocco. She started when I was 26
years and today I am 40 .

It started when I was traveling in Morocco. Always reminds me of the Sahara desert
But I say desert and the opposite feelings is because in the desert you feel hot with the sun and when it leaves the cold comes.

But after knowing Marrakesh, and many places. But when I got to casablanca, and I didn’t have to go to London. I decided to stay longer and go to the city my friends had told me about.

I kept going and suddenly I went to see Chefchuen. But as Morocco was colonized by France, the city is called Chefchuen, (Xexuão or El Aiún). And when I went traveling alone I listened to more Arabic than French.

But when I was traveling alone, I met two gentlemen who were worried about me.
They bought things from Morocco to sell in Ceuta.

There were 2 gentlemen who bought clothes to sell in Spain. They invited me to ride in their car to Ceuta. Ceuta becomes Africa.
It was amazing to travel with these gentlemen, with them I was watching everywhere but when we arrived at the border they didn’t even ask for my passport. But when I saw it, I was impressed by the change between one country and another.

I stayed one day in Celtic because I wanted to go back to Morocco. I went on foot and when I arrived at the border there were hundreds of people who were not well.

I would say it was one of the saddest things I’ve seen. Many people who were not accepted in Europe. They told me to go ahead and I wanted to be in line. I said I would go in line but the Africans who were not accepted because of prejudice told me to go ahead because I was white.

When I crossed over there were 1 million people who wanted to live in Europe. As I told you, my friend Leila, who is from Morocco and is a photographer at the UN, was killed for her work, and she knew about the injustice that exists in the world.

Here in Brazil, everyone’s prejudice continues as well. I think the onset of my epileptic seizures is related to strong emotions and people very close to me. When Leila was killed I ended up in the Hospital, and now I’m taking the Rituximab that I managed to control from the despair they gave me when Sho died and I was just in the hospital. This time it was already yesterday, and I’m happy because maybe I don’t feel bad about collateral defects.

As I said, after two comas, with the loss of blood and difficulty speaking, if I was in the hospital it’s because I finally took him seriously.

It was in 2007. As I say I will keep my mistakes without asking anyone. We have to value trying to get better.

But I remember years ago when I arrived at Moon’s mother’s house I tried to explain and how difficult it is.

(I went to sleep and at night came that despair of something I couldn’t explain. It was like feeling and heat like the Sahara desert. Like the Sun and the Moon. Like heat with the sun and then in the cold. But in bed and cold and the heat and outside you understand. my mind it was losing control. Cynthia vibrations of adrenaline, my mind was activated and thinking about the prison of borders, you can’t control with the same thought. “
But I know I still don’t have control, but I try. We know very little about ourselves.

Then I remember going to the airport to go to London. On the plane My hand was moving. The gentleman was on my side and said: “You are not well and you should talk to the doctors. “Because I want to tell you little by little about my downfalls. The first has already escaped from the hospital in London. I stayed for a few days and exams and left with my responsibility. In other words, it drops a lot.

Even I know the doctors explained it with different names than I have. Innoway they’re still trying to figure out what’s in my brain.

But I know that studies change all the time. I find it very helpful to see that the brain doesn’t know that much. But I can see that we can learn again.

Even if I can’t speak and I get the block buy a word in my language but I can think in Portuguese and French and English.

The mind is so amazing what it can do to find a way to see, speak and hear.

I can fulfill and respect medicine but also Meditation. It’s like I respect alternative medicine, but medicine has it together.
Love, Jules

I must say that I write without anyone editing. It is difficult to write and speak. But I love writing and telling other people’s stories, but I’m going to tell myself. And I’ll tell you about my life. And I would say “never accept that you couldn’t learn new things”, and Take the old learnings of life seriously, and the new. Of everything in life we ​​must keep the hope of life.

So I’ll explain to you how I studied around the world. I learned in schools, and learn languages. If I couldn’t talk and technology that can help my mind. If I hadn’t learned other languages, I imagine it would be difficult for me to be speaking and writing. My mind works like this.

I won a scholarship in Brazil from IBEU – Instituto Brasil Estados Unidos. As I said, I studied at hofstra university in the United States. I won at the US college and won another scholarship to study international politics, the University of Amsterdam. And then my master’s degree was at LSE, which is in London. Then I won to do a doctorate and dropped out.

And I was lost, learning Hebrew and Arabic. My doctorate was about a school of peace between Israel and Palestine. All I was looking for was discussions.

I was talking to my dad today, and he said that the times we are trained, to prove our perception, of what we know. He said it’s boring people thing 🙂

When I was little I was at Lycee Pasteur, and my school was in French in Sao Paulo, and in Buenos Aires, and it always made us prove what we know. But what do we really know, or choose from whom to transfer responsibility?

Sometimes I think, what did I miss? I realize that any epileptic fit was related to how angry or depressed my mind is.

So I want to tell you how it started with my first epileptic fit and I went to Morocco. I imagine you started it, as I am. But I think it was 911 in New York that started my despair.

With all my interests, they were everything. I went through music, cinema, decolonizing, international politics, and philosophy and anthropology.

It was in 2007 that my first epileptic attack was in Morocco. As I said, Morocco is a country that I love. And to this day it makes me get to know myself better.

I went to visit Leila, and Mounia. Mustapha is from there too, and I worked at the school and it was the place for languages ​​but before I knew them in the USA. Mustafa is the best class I’ve had. It’s called, and what my blog is like. It’s called decolonizing the mind. So I continue to decolonize my mind🙂

I confess that I sometimes get angry when my brother tells me how smart I was, or when my father tells me to forget about my past. The but I try to remember the past and the present.
Maybe I pretended I knew and pretended I knew🙂

But I’m learning, that we can learn new things. I see how there are studies that the brain can be active. Any old study pension that is dead🙂

So I’m going to try to count the day before, of my coma, And how I’m learning daily from a norm in a new way and to keep our brain, our mind.

But all the studies now are calling this time I have Autoimmune Encephalitis. E li “(EAI) are a group of inflammatory diseases of our brain, caused by the production of autoantibodies against neuronal antigens. In short, this inflammation arises when the immune system attacks the brain cells themselves. As for these antibodies, we can call them autoantibodies.29 Aug. from 2021”

I tell you because they’ve been called several names. But in addition to having fallen, because I was trying to use being out of medicine and I had 2 comas. Today I respect medicine and other ways of thinking.

I keep meditating helps not hallucinating. Acupuncture improved the mind and body and the floral. But I know that even they don’t know what the brain and mind are like. But my lack of explanation of who we are calms me down. And ironically the hospital median. Already makes me this gift and question 🙂

Doctor Getulio Rabelo, has already left, but
said that I should say what I felt, in my head, in my mind, since I speak and feel. But even though I’m critical, I see what I feel.

But I have to count slowly, I also realize is that if I get active we get tired of ourselves.
With love,

Jules

Without even Dao being so scared I would have towed if I went to the Vet to get Dao a floral.
My friend told me even more thoughts of grace and mysticism and it was doubtful to choose to be here, many people believe.

You know she chose to be there not you who sells
My friend studied very expensively and as I always liked philosophy and that’s why I chose the name Dao.
Respect her time, it’s not love with a master.
My friend told me even more thoughts of grace and mysticism and it was doubtful to choose to be here, many people believe.
I have friends who follow Mystic.

But the vet told me that he could help him if I told him that I take it from my nervousness from my epilepsy to my friend who does it today let’s see why he explained that he has to be in the water during the day because if you give he will not keep.
So today I’m going to get a floral pain Dao.
Dao makes me think a lot and remember the philosophy and good nation.
Hi wonder what is in her mind. In my mind makes it to remember the first place that I went to Asia what’s the China then I was volunteer in Thailand, a d Lau. Then I started to go to countries around but it behind me that when I went to the temples in time there were many cats.
I wonder if their mind it’s cool and if he’s running from himself like I always did with myself. I hope that he will feel she’s like me more calm in front of the sea but maybe it is for my selfish.

Yesterday when a friend came by and she has a cat, she tried to touch her but she ran.
We needed me to take her to the vet.
We didn’t even know if it was a boy or a girl.
But at the time they tried and it was building.
I don’t know where anger or fear comes from
I warned you, but I didn’t know about the animals.
But today strange things with me.
I arrived early, and saw Dal distressed, and a nervous dog arrived.
I told the lady, it looks like your dog to me, and it looks like an epileptic fit. I explained that I spoke because I am epileptic. The lady told me what it is. It touched me and I said “I will play because I understand how it is”
I kept playing and saying “breathe, calm down, get out of that thought. Stop the nervousness, stay calm”
I stood still and knew I was slowing down. I know why it is in my crises.
But when it came time for our appointment.
Dao and how I thought it would be easier, but no. Not even the Veterinarian, it was the two of them and André.
But I found out that she is a girl and that she is still at home because the Vet thought it was better to stay put until the second phase of medication and she adopted to stay with us.
In other words, I think the day reminds me that we’re not all supposed to have peace. .
There is no greater calamity than the
And Dao (it’s like Tao) 🙂

21 days came to our house a cat. We do not know where it came from but the following day we went to a place to buy the food.
I know nothing about cats so I asked for my friend who has 11 cats.
Everybody who knows me and close they know that where is the cat.

As a rent in my house and I had to go I had to ask my friend to just put food when he comes back. The cat never allowed us to touching him he’s very small and if you’re close and they told me to just touch he doesn’t Allow.

But the most amazing thing is that we arrived a couple days here and yesterday André and his father saw the cat is under our car.
We have come from Ubatuba which is in front of the sea and came back to the house of the parents of Andre.

I don’t even believed that the cat had come because it is very hard to go from the sea up the city.
André was sure, so he put water and some food and quite fast heat.
Even if we hadn’t seen I thought let’s go to buy the food for the cat. The kind that we had learned from my friend Victor.

I found out the place of the animals of the house. Immediately I thought we had to find a way to take him back to her house in Ubatuba.
And then I saw he’s here I was so moved I cannot believe that he came all the way to travel with us.
André even had to understand where he’s coming from and we saw he goes inside of the car. I took so many pictures but he does not allow us to be close.

Andre’s parents knew a lot about animals and they have always made me to learn about patients. I understand that’s when people are pregnant have you had to wait for months this how are you feeling now is it going to go for me 🙂
Lets see when we will touch

When I arrives 20 years ago and my university das at Hofstra.I arrived at  happened 10 days before having  my class.As we arrived as foreigners , we have to sea our rooms. 

So in 20 days,  I have heard of people walk from different countries. They  different parts of the world from American,  Latin America from Europe Africa and Middle East
from Asia.  So I met and heard about their countries. 
Since I spoke Portuguese French Spanish and English I started with learning a lot about my friends. We did not have what’s up ,but I could hear different languages, and that I don’t know.    But I know that sun always called the family. 
  I starter to learn about Judaism,  Christianity Islam. I learn from,  I’m Taoism from Buddhism , Hinduism, sicle , spirituel, and Ignostic.
We arrived at the University and we are still yong.  We never have met so many People know the traditions.  We don’t care so much about religions.  I all about countries but I arrived 20 days before in, 911 .

I was in my room when my friend Caroline was desperate to talk.  I did not hear.  I heard the first bomb,  the second bomb than she was desperated.  I was close to my friend and I know her father works in the building. We were seating everything it was the TV.   

But luckily his father wasn’t working that day, but everything changed in the world and at the university.  It became much more difficult for my friends from the Middle East, countries in Africa, they are Islamic countries and they were seen with the eyes.

For me with my friends nothing has really changed as you wars have started I decided to learn more about international politics.
. I felt very sad oh my friends, who came from the   Middle East. None of them wanted the death of a new one.Just very sad to make people with fear with anger and without respect of other countries and traditions.

20 years ago real life then things change in one day.  I live in London and did my master and I abandoned my Phd at LSE. Therefore,  I was in was about Israel and Palestine.  
  I wander how people are being all over the world with Covid is there going to the university. I do know many friends wants to know about the power of the words

But now I don’t want to know what is the control inside.
I have a learn from my friends I’m from their traditions of different countries. Since Caroline lived with Pet they both came here in my house and it is in front of Sea.
And since Pet had invited me to go to China to , Hong Kong, I started to learn more about Asia, and Dao.
But every morning I look at the sun I look at the Sun and Sea , the proud earth and the moon. In a way I am glad to sea and I feel the Spirit are alive.

My First memories of my epileptic attack.
My college scholarship was for me to study in the US . In the first day I met at the fist day that I met Felipe, Leila and Mounia.

Felipe had a scholarship like me. We both are born in in Brasil. We had met me meat in the US. I met at first day days. As we were the first days , we met the foreigners. I met very fast Leila and Moon and we became friends. Mounia and Leila come from Morroco.

I people of the world, I became friends of people who came of different part of the of the world. Leila mother , and she was born in France, her father is from there. Her family lived for the world. In morro come speak in
But life is complete, Since I mix languages that in morocco some people speak Arabic and older speak French . Moon told me that to her parents she spoke in French, But her grandma did not speak French.Morocco becomes a French protectorate in 1921. But since my schools were in French and English when I was young and after I had to comas if it was from languages it would be harder to speak.

But life is complete, Since I mix languages that in morocco some people speak Arabic and older speak French . Moon told me that to her parents she spoke in French, But her grandma did not speak French.Morocco becomes a French protectorate in 1921. But since my schools were in French and English when I was young and after I had to comas if it was from languages it would be harder to speak

I traveled alone and then I was seeing the country and see the difference for additions but when I arrived the border between Morro and Ceuta, Spain.

Since I was traveling alone,This all the men told me it was very dangerous to travel alone I told him I always do it.He told me he travel here I transporting things to Spain in Celta invite me to be in the car.He told me he could show me all the places and I did.

It was comfortable in a car he was polite but as a crossed the man was so happy to me go out and even looking at my passport maybe because he could look I am not African but I didn’t know yet.

As I arrived the hotel I was in Europe the difference between the life I decided the following day I would come back to morocco.

As I went to the border it was the most sad moment that I have seen they were people way back to Africa disappointed that’s what was his plan didn’t work.

The police told me I should be the first it was a Normas Q of people and I told her I would stay.He told me and white you can go first it made me sad.

Even all the men who are black they told me it would be if I go the first and when I cross I could see any Normas few of hundreds and hundreds of people of the whole Africa trying to go to Europe.

So much injustice inside of my mind of my brain I don’t know as I came to the house of Moon I talked and how much I like morocco I love morocco but at night I had my first epileptic attack.

My Mind and the Spirit . We are from the World.

I am 40 years and I am looking what is the path ? . I already read away
.
I was 13 years old and I said to mom “That if you know, I am not from my school”. I ran away several times. . So in my life it was the way to understand, what is the purpose of our life.

I can remember a lot , about me just going. From my first exchange,first university in Brasil, ran inside of my university

Hofstra in the Us, and to do an exchange to Amsterdam. I met my first husband Haiko, We moved do the UK. There I got Mimy master at the from my Phd LSD, but as I got my Phd I tan away . And I was aways run in the word. Then I had 2 comas and many times I came back to the Hospital. I was in hospitals in London, Thailand, Brasil. Those hade firsts I sleep in hospital.

Then I got a great new husband. Then we moved to Peru. And I loved Peru, but it is all in my brain. Sas I could not to speak , moving parts of my hands. Em lille by time I am back in my second Comas

The beginning was fear, and then angry, and bow I am great at medicine .

As I am here and from the word , I will write every day from what I have learned from the lessons and losses and how , and paths

As I have talking to my Professor Mustapha, I said I was influenced by the wild like us.

His class was “ Decolozin the mind” and that class always made me to understand my self. It always made to run my self .

I was born in Brasil. My school as a child it was in english, and in french. I was then living in Buenos Aires , and my school it was frechas and Spanish.

I studied for a few years at a school in Brazil, and I ran away from my university in Brazil.

And so many things I studied, and I tried to write. If it were schools, languages ​​I can’t study and I’m writing in my mind

Somehow the mind is part of me in the world. I’m still in my quest of my mind.g

My Mind and the Spirit . We are from the World.

I am 40 years and I am looking what is the path ? . I already read away
.
I was 13 years old and I said to mom “That if you know, I am not from my school”. I ran away several times. . So in my life it was the way to understand, what is the purpose of our life.

I can remember a lot , about me just going. From my first exchange,first university in Brasil, ran inside of my university

Hofstra in the Us, and to do an exchange to Amsterdam. I met my first husband Haiko, We moved do the UK. There I got Mimy master at the from my Phd LSD, but as I got my Phd I tan away . And I was aways run in the word. Then I had 2 comas and many times I came back to the Hospital. I was in hospitals in London, Thailand, Brasil. Those hade firsts I sleep in hospital.

Then I got a great new husband. Then we moved to Peru. And I loved Peru, but it is all in my brain. Sas I could not to speak , moving parts of my hands. Em lille by time I am back in my second Comas

The beginning was fear, and then angry, and bow I am great at medicine .

As I am here and from the word , I will write every day from what I have learned from the lessons and losses and how , and paths

As I have talking to my Professor Mustapha, I said I was influenced by the wild like us.

His class was “ Decolozin the mind” and that class always made me to understand my self. It always made to run my self .

I was born in Brasil. My school as a child it was in english, and in french. I was then living in Buenos Aires , and my school it was frechas and Spanish.

I studied for a few years at a school in Brazil, and I ran away from my university in Brazil.

And so many things I studied, and I tried to write. If it were schools, languages ​​I can’t study and I’m writing in my mind

Somehow the mind is part of me in the world. I’m still in my quest of my mind.