“Ah, Dr. Meow… Sometimes I feel a profound sense of discouragement. I wonder, will it ever pass? After all, I was doing so well here… But when everything shifts into something else, this anguish takes hold of me.”
“Mita, are you sure you didn’t feel this way before, too?” Dr. Meow asked. “You know, that same search that led you to discover peace? Yet, right at the moment you finally felt at peace, seeing everything around you begin to shift brings on this anguish.”
“I understand, Mita. Do you remember that time on the boat, when I told you about Zangmo? She traveled so much along her path, amidst so many trees and animals… And just when she felt she had found the way, she realized that the path itself didn’t exist. She taught me that, instead of looking only at the boat or the land, one should look beyond.”
“But, Dr. Meow, what did she mean by that?”
“Mita, she taught me that rather than remaining trapped, staring at the boat, the land, or the river, we can learn to see from a perspective outside of where we happen to be.”
“I see, Dr. Meow… Is it like observing life? Creating a bit of space within one’s own being? The ability to view ourselves from the outside?”
“Exactly, Mita. Zangmo taught me that we are not our thoughts. Look at this image, Mita: at the center, there is the serenity of someone meditating in silence. But all around it, notice the many fleeting states that arise… There are moments when an arrogant voice emerges, or a self-centeredness that closes us off, or a deep sensitivity that weeps, or a hungry craving for attention—or even the kind of drama that magnifies everything.”
“And are we all of those things, Dr. Meow?”
“No, Mita. We are the One who sits at the center, eyes gently closed, holding a lotus flower in our hands.” These small aspects appear like soap bubbles across the landscape of the mind. When you learn to simply observe them—without becoming the drama, without identifying with the arrogance or the pain—you discover a sense of separation. You realize that you are the essence that observes, while the emotions merely pass by.
— Ah, Dr. Meow… Indeed, it is time for us to meditate and watch the mind flow.
“Dr. Meow, in my dream, I saw the jaguar lost on the boat, feeling anxious, happy, and sad all at once… but what is her name?”
“Ah, Mita, I hadn’t even told you yet how she ended up on the boat. The jaguar came with names that kept changing until she met Zangmo, who is from the Harakbut lineage.”
“Wow, Dr. Meow, I’m confused — is Zangmo a Harakbut? And I don’t even know what a Harakbut is… what kind of animal is that?”
“Ah, Mita, the Harakbut are indigenous people from Peru who had a deep connection with spirituality, nature, and animals.”
“Dr. Meow, who on earth was that person? Did she bring the jaguar to the boat? Now I’m even more confused. A human being bringing a jaguar to the boat — that’s even more unusual.”
“Mita, she is a young Harakbut girl who, one day, became Zangmo — a figure who wished to help all beings on Earth. Besides her Harakbut identity, she received that name as she walked a path close to the Tibetans.”
“And what does the name Zangmo mean?”
“You know, Mita, one day I also heard that there are several interpretations of the name Zangmo, but one of them is ‘virtuous woman.’”
“Dr. Meow, have you ever met her?”
“You know, Mita, along my journey I learned that Zangmo is a young indigenous woman who wants to protect the Earth. On her path, she witnessed how the indigenous population and the animals of the Amazon were facing disappearance.”
“One day, she saw an abandoned, half-broken boat. She decided to try to fix it, even though she didn’t know how. She remembered that one day she had seen bees building their hives, so she asked the wise bee to help her with the boat. She began by sharing her idea to create a haven for those who respect the Earth. She even wanted to reforest.”
“Dr. Meow, I want to meet Zangmo. She must know that birds can bring seeds to help reforest.”
“You know, Mita, Zangmo told me that she received her name from the Tibetans in the middle of the Amazon. She was surrounded by nature while they were creating a mandala.”
“Dr. Meow, wow, I understand. I’ve been to so many Tibetan places, and I felt in a way that it was just like Tibet losing its land — just like the indigenous people, and just like mine.”
“Ah, Mita, that’s why you have that name; you’ve been close to the Tibetans. That is the impermanence of life. Just like Zangmo received her name: even without fully understanding it at first, she listened and resonated with it. The Tibetans gave her that name recognizing the young girl’s kindness. And that practice of the Mandala is to cultivate detachment. I imagine they gave her that name upon seeing the compassion she holds for everything on our Earth.”
“Wow, Dr. Meow, and so it was there that she met the jaguar and was able to bring her onto the boat. Wow, I almost forgot my curiosity about the jaguar’s name!”
“True, Mita, I almost forgot to tell you the jaguar’s name, too. Zangmo saw her and walked close to the jaguar, and she started calling the jaguar Apetpet.”
“Wow, the jaguar? She didn’t try to attack because she sensed Zangmo’s goodness. She felt that kindness which doesn’t come from who we are on this Earth, but from our actions and reactions.”
“True, Mita. Apetpet told me that when she met Zangmo there in the Amazon, Zangmo looked at her with a compassion she had never seen before.”
“Dr. Meow, I understand. Neither Zangmo nor Apetpet wanted to leave the Amazon, but this time, they had to depart.”
“Mita, it is truly heartbreaking for living beings to watch humans destroying trees without appreciating the value of nature. Right there, Zangmo spoke her name and declared that they would board the boat to help all living creatures and nourish them with their seeds.”
“Ah, Dr. Meow, you know, I was also once close to humans — they say they are superior, yet they kill and abandon. That’s why it seems these humans like to observe, only to abandon our nature afterwards.”
“Ah, Mita, your dream makes me reflect… sometimes we have to leave a place to search for something good. And right when we were doing so well, why did we end up moving to a worse place, or expecting everything to turn out for the worst?”
“Exactly, Dr. Meow. Every day, just as before, I used to think the other place would be better, but then I turn around and see it’s even worse than where we are.”
“Ah, Mita, just like your name Mitaka — whoever gave you that name wanted you to understand that everything in life is impermanent. But I understand… yet perhaps the most beautiful thing is for us to meditate and see the beauty of everything within our mind, right where we are. Right there, and never look at the negative side. I learned not to keep dwelling on past places as if they were better. That traps our mind, preventing us from realizing that those places also had negative aspects. Now I only see the beauty of the past, forgetting that there were hardships there too. We must see the beauty of where we are right now.”
“Dr. Meow, that’s true, but how can you not see the destruction of our Earth? What beauty do you see right now?”
“True, Mita, but I see that throughout our journey, as you crossed paths with us, we have actions and reactions. And right here on this boat, Zangmo brought us the seeds so that we can reforest.”
“Dr. Meow, you’re right. Let’s meditate… but let’s reforest.”
“Good morning, Dr. Mewu. I enjoyed meditating yesterday so much that I came to ask if I can join you and meditate together today, or would I be bothering you?”
“Good morning, Mita. Oh, it brings me deep gratitude; it is a pleasure for us to meditate together.”
“Dr. Miau, that day while I was meditating and had even forgotten my own discomfort, you advised me to name my thoughts and become aware of their similarities. This even led me to reflect on the word you used: ‘gratitude,’ rather than ‘thank you.’ You encourage me to understand how you guide us in our reflection, allowing our thoughts to flow freely.”
“Mita, what a beautiful conversation. It even reminds me of the boat I told you about yesterday—how I saved rainwater on the boat because I imagined that one day we might run out. One day, I went to give it back to the animals trapped on the boat. When we ran out of water, I even thought of the Jaguar, whom I was terrified of, but I felt it was better not to leave her thirsty.”
“Wow, Dr. Miau, you even wanted to be close to the Jaguar?”
“Exactly, Mita. As I meditated, calming my fear, my hunger, and being trapped on the boat, I thought how sad it was that the Jaguar stayed so far away, without water, and didn’t even know how to meditate.”
“Dr. Miau, I think you are famous because you can help so many animals meditate, and I would even say you know how to think of others.”
“Mita, you are very generous. Truthfully, meditation helped me meditate; it helped me so much. And when so many animals showed such generosity, I always wanted to share it with everyone. After all, we all learn along the path.”
“Dr. Miau: Yes. With peace in your mind, is that when you went to give water to the jaguar?”
“That’s how it went. She took the water and said ‘grateful’ to me. She explained that she doesn’t say ‘thank you,’ teaching me that ‘thank you’ (obrigada) comes from ‘obligation’—it’s when you feel trapped, in debt, bound to the person who helped you. But ‘grateful’ (grata) comes from ‘gratitude’—it’s when you acknowledge the good without becoming a slave to it. Better yet, she sat down with compassion…”
“Wow, Dr. Miau, I know so many cats. Sometimes we fight, but we are friends even with the opossum, even with human beings.”
“Dr. Miau: She drank it. But before that, she looked deep into my eyes. Do you know what she said when she said ‘grateful’?”
“Yes, Mita: did she say ‘grateful’ and explain why not ‘thank you’?”
“What do you mean, Dr. Miau?”
“That’s the exact same question I asked her, and she explained it to me. She taught me that ‘thank you’ comes from ‘obligation’—it’s when you feel trapped, in debt, tied to the one who helped you. But ‘grateful’ comes from ‘gratitude’—when you recognize the good without becoming a slave to it. The Jaguar said she had spent her whole life trapped on the boat, afraid, hungry, and that no one had ever shared water with her. When I shared mine, she felt gratitude. But she didn’t want to owe me anything. She just wanted to… show appreciation. That’s how we even became friends on that boat, as everything unfolded.”
“Wow, Dr. Miau. So the Jaguar even taught you to learn from everyone.”
“She taught me several things. She made me understand how words can trap us, opening my mind to realize we often don’t even know how the other person is feeling. Perhaps that’s why today I feel grateful that you came to meditate and talk, even about our difficult moments.”
“Dr. Miau, I am so grateful to you for helping me meditate and for teaching me. It is a good time for us to meditate now. And next time, I will tell you about a cat who shared a story with me so I could learn about the word compassion.”
Dr. Meow, could I schedule an appointment with you? I confess I’m so distressed… or rather, I can’t even explain it. But I discovered that Dr. Meow exists—an animal who helps the minds of so many cats.
— Of course, it’s a pleasure to have you visit. What’s your name?
— My name is Mitaka, but you can call me Mita. You know, I have such an empty feeling… or rather, a hard one. I can’t even tell if I’m unwell or sick. It’s more like the weight of being where I am.
— I understand that feeling, especially with a name as incredibly beautiful as yours. Do you know the origin of your name?
— No. When I arrived and found such a beautiful house, close to nature, where I could hide from everything… but they saw me and called me Mitaka—which sometimes turned into Mita. I felt that deep inside.
— What a beautiful name you have. It means impermanence. The most direct translation is ‘impermanence’ or ‘non-eternity.
— Wow, Dr. Meow! That’s why you’re so famous. I’ve traveled the world, and people have always told me about you—almost as someone who can see right into a person’s inner self.’
— Mita, can you see how perceiving the other person in their own moment acts as a mirror of what they, too, have gone through? Amidst our impermanence, the beauty lies precisely in understanding that this flow of feelings needs not to be reinforced or nurtured in our minds. But what, in fact, is this feeling you are experiencing?
— I don’t know… Maybe I have a doubt about my existence, or about why I’m living in this place and not the other one I liked.
— But if I went back to live there, wouldn’t it be the same feeling? You know, Mita, I, too, have lived in so many houses, streets, and countries, seeking to help my patients, and I always relate to that. Perhaps I realize I long to return to the last place I sought out—a place that was no longer the same as before. Almost as if I wouldn’t even appreciate it. That is why your name is so beautiful.
❤️
— Wow, Dr. Meow, that makes perfect sense. Just when I was feeling really good, they’d decide to take me to another house, another country… and when I went back there, I felt it wasn’t the same as before. Then I’d miss where I had been and want to leave again and go back to that other house.
— Yes, Mita. The term is also defined as ‘momentariness,’ indicating that everything changes from moment to moment, in a continuous flow of transformation. It is one of the ‘four seals’ of Buddhism (‘all conditioned phenomena are impermanent’) and a fundamental theme for spiritual reflection.
— That’s so interesting, Dr. Meow! You know, I used to stay at home, and suddenly I had to leave and stay for a while at another house. Then, just when I was doing well, they’d grab me, stuff me in a box, and put me in a car. They’d leave me at another house and I’d feel huge dissatisfaction, even though they gave me good food. Then, just as I was settling in, they’d haul me off again—right when I was getting used to that new house. Days would pass, and they’d cart me back to the house I liked. It makes me so mad! I feel trapped as they haul me back to the house where I used to live… but when I get there, nothing is the same; I don’t like it like I used to, and I don’t even get the food I liked anymore. Ugh, it’s so frustrating!
— What I feel is deep; it reminds me of the sea that comes and goes. And I used to like staying put, going back and forth. But today I find myself thinking: why am I here? It’s almost like that sea that came with the Sun… that has nothing to do with material things; it doesn’t exist. Even if my name is impermanent, I always used to go back and forth.
— I understand, Mita. Nature is the most beautiful thing I see, and that impermanence also ebbs and flows, much like a river. I understand that feeling. I think it’s the best way to meditate and observe our own emptiness.
— That’s true, Dr. Miau. It reminds me of what I heard about not following thoughts during meditation. Is that right?
❤️ — Exactly, Mita. When you inhale, hold, and exhale… and thoughts come up.
— Exactly, Dr. Miau. But what do I do to stop those thoughts?
— Great question, Mita. At first, we focus on our breathing and don’t notice the thoughts. But when you realize a thought is there, that’s when you try to stop it. I try to create a separation between the mind and consciousness.
— Dr. Miau, to be honest… that’s easy to say. But how do you do it?
— You’re right, Mita. It’s difficult and easy at the same time.
— But what do you find easy?
— Oh, Mita… I think it started when I was stuck on a boat. They took me away from Australia and away from nature, and there was nothing I could do. I was practically trapped—both on the boat and inside my own mind. At first, I even wanted to jump overboard, but I couldn’t even do that. That’s when I remembered the lessons I’d heard from a Sloth.
— Wow, Dr. Miau! Were there other animals on the boat?
— Yes, but he came from Africa and taught me how to stay still. Perhaps when he feels threatened, he prefers not to fight against himself. That taught me to try not to fight a battle within myself.
— Can you teach me in a way that I can actually do it?
— Of course. Let’s start by simply observing our breathing, without expecting anything. Usually, a thought will come up, and we just choose not to follow it. If you like, give it a name; this helps identify the thought so it doesn’t overpower us. If boredom arises, accept it. If worry arises, accept it. Just try to recognize it.
( Dao, I loved hearing your voice. It had been so quiet for so long… It almost felt like meditation. )
—
See that, Meow? I’m not even going to call you ‘Dr.’, because I already figure it’s just a form of classification… Or rather, pure ego. You don’t even acknowledge that you’ve done little research, nor have you done a doctorate, and yet you already want to classify yourself like that? How undervalued I am…
( — How interesting of a thought, but why is that so important? Call me Meow.)
Doctor Meow, but what have you actually studied about cats’ feelings… if you’re a koala? I might even call you doctor, since you respected me.
‘ Ah, Dao, in my greater teachings, I learned to feel that there isn’t a big difference between the beings of this existence of ours, on this Earth. It surprises me to see that you cats seem freer from attachments than human beings, than dogs… Some call you ‘owners’, or ‘mom’ and ‘dad’. But what strikes me there is how you leave a silence in that feeling.’
— But, Dr. Meow, where were you born? And how did you end up here? And what about these studies of yours to deal with me?
— But you know, Dao, I came from Australia, I lived near the eucalyptus tree and managed to stay as free as you. But they brought me around the world; they took away a good part of the freedom I had and made me travel the planet. I passed through Thailand, and when I saw you, I even thought you were from there. Seeing you made me recognize someone lost in the world, like me. There, a being isolated from the world, but not lost from the essence of our life.
— Ah, Dr. Meow, this study of yours is deeper. Knowing how to deal with everyone’s life, you understand this silence of mine. Perhaps it comes from my boredom with words, still trapped in a society incapable of understanding this emptiness.
— But why did you want to talk to me today? Are you more willing to recognize our ignorance in the face of our existence?
— Ah, Dr. Meow, these cat studies of yours aren’t right… I miss the Xus so much, and in a way I feel anger. Because I was already angry about traveling so much, but the way things are now, I don’t even know if they died or if they abandoned me. And the worst part is having to stay close to the dogs, who hate me.
(— Ah, Dao, you never told me who the Xus are. Actually, today you told me that you lived in their house, and you don’t anymore. )
Ah, Dr. Meow, that’s a long story… It’s just that I used to belong to the Xus’ house. At first, I jumped on Ju, and then she threw me to Xu. Back then she even made me watch the sunrise, meditate, and do yoga. Xu made me stretch… Wow, just telling it makes me so angry.
( Let’s meditate. Think of something good about the Xus, forget the bad things — not even because of them, but for your own sake. If you feed this anger, it will only hurt you. )”
( Dao, I loved hearing your voice. It had been so quiet for so long… It almost felt like meditation. )
—
See that, Meow? I’m not even going to call you ‘Dr.’, because I already figure it’s just a form of classification… Or rather, pure ego. You don’t even acknowledge that you’ve done little research, nor have you done a doctorate, and yet you already want to classify yourself like that? How undervalued I am…
( — How interesting of a thought, but why is that so important? Call me Meow.)
Doctor Meow, but what have you actually studied about cats’ feelings… if you’re a koala? I might even call you doctor, since you respected me.
‘ Ah, Dao, in my greater teachings, I learned to feel that there isn’t a big difference between the beings of this existence of ours, on this Earth. It surprises me to see that you cats seem freer from attachments than human beings, than dogs… Some call you ‘owners’, or ‘mom’ and ‘dad’. But what strikes me there is how you leave a silence in that feeling.’
— But, Dr. Meow, where were you born? And how did you end up here? And what about these studies of yours to deal with me?
— But you know, Dao, I came from Australia, I lived near the eucalyptus tree and managed to stay as free as you. But they brought me around the world; they took away a good part of the freedom I had and made me travel the planet. I passed through Thailand, and when I saw you, I even thought you were from there. Seeing you made me recognize someone lost in the world, like me. There, a being isolated from the world, but not lost from the essence of our life.
— Ah, Dr. Meow, this study of yours is deeper. Knowing how to deal with everyone’s life, you understand this silence of mine. Perhaps it comes from my boredom with words, still trapped in a society incapable of understanding this emptiness.
— But why did you want to talk to me today? Are you more willing to recognize our ignorance in the face of our existence?
— Ah, Dr. Meow, these cat studies of yours aren’t right… I miss the Xus so much, and in a way I feel anger. Because I was already angry about traveling so much, but the way things are now, I don’t even know if they died or if they abandoned me. And the worst part is having to stay close to the dogs, who hate me.
(— Ah, Dao, you never told me who the Xus are. Actually, today you told me that you lived in their house, and you don’t anymore. )
Ah, Dr. Meow, that’s a long story… It’s just that I used to belong to the Xus’ house. At first, I jumped on Ju, and then she threw me to Xu. Back then she even made me watch the sunrise, meditate, and do yoga. Xu made me stretch… Wow, just telling it makes me so angry.
( Let’s meditate. Think of something good about the Xus, forget the bad things — not even because of them, but for your own sake. If you feed this anger, it will only hurt you. )”
I was was joking trying to decolonize my brain, but it also taught me how to reduce inflammation within myself. 😻,
Questions that contain the history of my dangerous injuries. Today I’ll give a summary.
In 2007, I had my first epileptic seizure at the age of 26, and today I am 44 years old.
My first epileptic seizure was in Morocco. My first hospital was in London, and my doctors were from Brazil. My first neurologist was Dr. Getúlio Rabello until he passed away, after many falls and brain injuries, and today it is Dr. Rodrigo de Holanda who found a new diagnosis that makes a lot of sense to me, considering everything I’ve been through.
They considered the possibility of multiple sclerosis starting in 2008, but my first epileptic seizure was in 2007, causing loss of seizure control and the onset of brain lesions. In 2012, they suspected hypoglossal nerve neuritis. They also considered schizophrenia of neurological origin, stroke, and cerebral vasculitis. In 2013 and 2017, I went into a coma due to epileptic seizures, and in the hospital they tried to slow my progression so that I wouldn’t
But returning to life, I found myself with many brain injuries, and if I write, it’s not to seek anything negative. It is more look another way.
In 2021, even while taking medication for epilepsy, the pain returned, and I went to the hospital again. Dr. Rodrigo de Holanda, who gave me the final diagnosis, diagnosed me with autoimmune encephalitis. Now I finally see and understand that everything makes sense.
I’ve already gone through several diagnoses, several brain injuries, and due to my abilities after these last injuries in 2021, I couldn’t even understand anything. But today I truly understand what I have
Autoimmune encephalitis
is a serious inflammatory disease where the immune system, which should protect the body, mistakenly attacks the body’s own healthy brain cells
This time, as a vegan and meditating, it made me decolonize myself from being against medicine; it was more about understanding what my diagnoses are like, trying to figure out how this destruction of my brain is happening
In 2021, I felt emotional things helping me break down, it was right when a close friend died. Five days later, I was hospitalized with a new brain injury. This time I lost face recognition, speech, and hallucinated. I started taking cortisone and rituximab. I remember that in the hospital I had low levels of vitamin L12 and iron.
But in 2022, my cholesterol from eating meat was high, so I decided to go back to being vegetarian, this time with the help of a nutritionist. She made me eat eggs and taught me that when I do eat them, I shouldn’t drink coffee so I don’t lose iron and calcium. It was also in 2022 that I started meditating again. But at the end of the year, my cholesterol returned
Then in 2023, Dr. Rodrigo said it must be my genetic cholesterol, and he made me fight just for fun to prove it, that I was going to be vegan, and that it wasn’t genetic.
I was worried about how I could do it , so I decided to start with Ayurveda. That’s when, little by little, I began to change my diet.
Veganism starts to attract criticism, but being vegan makes you more aware of the structure of food. I personally knew nothing about cooking, nor the basics of healthy eating.
As a vegan, I started eating many non-inflammatory foods, and some anti-inflammatory ones, without even knowing what the basis of the disease was. And it was even harder to understand how I was getting better. But today I understand how so many foods used to make my brain inflamed.
So Dr. Rodrigo de Holanda came up with this diagnosis of autoimmune encephalitis, which made me, out of my inability to go back and try to find out what I wanted to discover about my brain and my mind.
When I had to start taking Rituximab twice a year, I also had to have the CD-19 lymphocyte test, which is a specific marker for lymphocytes.
Rituximab is a drug that works by “switching off” specific cells in the immune system
By eliminating these cells, the medication stops the inflammation and protects your nervous system from further damage.
This is the test that shows if I need to take Rituximab. Of course, when I regained consciousness I tried to find out what Rituximab is
When I found out it was inflammation of my own brain, it made me reflect on how many hospitals I’ve been to, and it reminded me of how many people go there because they because what they eat.
On my vegan journey, and with my lactose-free diet, I’ve completely changed my eating habits. I feel better, I’ve started meditating again, I can understand what causes inflammation in my brain. And I’m no longer refusing medication.
It shocked me, almost everything I eat, without even knowing it, is anti-inflammatory, and the balance is nothing compared to what is related to inflammation in the brain and body
Sugar (vegans hardly eat any of it
Animals, food produced, etc
These days, when I found out, I went to see what veganism was and it helped me recover. .
In 2025 I started to understand the basics of vegan food, I went to learn
Iron (Energy): Beans, lentils, and quinoa. (Rule: + Vitamin C).
Calcium (Structure): Kale, sesame seeds, and broccoli.
Vitamin B12 (Brain): Supplement.
Vitamin D (Sun/Bones): Sun or supplement.
Complete Protein: Brown rice + beans.
Vitamins A and C (Defense): Carrots and citrus fruits.
Omega-3 and Vitamin E: Flaxseed (always ground).
And when I came to find out what this exam is, I wanted to find out what’s inflamed in my brain
I discovered this last month, since not only do I eat a lot of what causes inflammation, but I’m also vegan. Last year I was supposed to take Rituximab twice a year, but I only needed it once.
When I went to find out about all the anti-inflammatory foods, I decided to eat everything that was anti-inflammatory.
Yes, let’s see if this lymphocyte 19 and 20 test I did yesterday comes back positive. If it’s 0, I don’t need Rituximab again. Let’s see if it turns out to be 0.
Can you believe I’m trying to observe my own brain’s diet? 🙂 But who knows, maybe a month of anti-inflammatory food can make this vegan battle much easier.
This diagnosis of mine has already made me lose hope of recovering. But in fact, I’ve discovered that nothing is negative; we can only accept the basis of our minds, of how we adapt
The spiritual insight I gained when the car broke down. It was then that the mind began to look at everything in a positive way, not focusing solely on the negative. Moreover, I was already thinking negatively before the car broke down.
We were thinking of going from Ubatuba to Guaratinguetá. But we wanted to take the route from Ubatuba via Paraty to Cunha. It’s a beautiful route and we wanted to buy a Christmas present in Cunha.
Ubatuba is a coastal region, and we wanted to get to Cunha, which is a mountainous region.
But on that way, I smelled a strong burning smell, a very strong smell. André said it must be from someone’s car coming down the road.
But I was joking, thinking about the two of us driving up from Paraty to Cunha, in an old car with two cats, and going through the rain, it would be like something out of a movie if the car broke down.
Well, we were going up, and suddenly the car broke down. No phone because we can’t use the internet, since this whole route is disconnected..
And me, who knew the road was long, I brought water to drink, but when the car broke down I told André maybe it would help lower the engine temperature. Especially since I know nothing about cars 🙂
So I decided to write, since the best thing I know is to focus and bring my mind calmer. So now in my image I think everything will be alright. I see cars going up and leaving us calm. André going to get more water from the tap, our cats calm, and me walking to try to get the internet
Also, to explain, in December in Brazil it’s summer, and in our country there are mosquitoes, so we use repellent. I’ve always used everything natural and vegan since I became vegan. To top it all off, the natural repellent that was in the glove compartment exploded and the oil fell on my foot. Even walking with oily feet in the rain was more difficult. Since I was trying to find an internet connection, I already needed to call for help.
But, since the car was showing red, and this water coming from the tap makes the red disappear, we had hope that it would work..
But since that wasn’t working, I started imagining that a nice human being would appear, come and help us move the car, and unbelievably, he did..
It’s like the mind connects. Now I imagine we’ll arrive in Cunha, and even connect with Manuel (André’s father), and who knows, maybe André and I can reach Guaratinguetá
Today O translate and what O wrote
Unbelievable, a gentleman appeared talking to André. I’m writing because what I was thinking came true. A new human being who wanted to help us.
And to top it all off, Charles appeared, a being from Guara who, in addition to trying to help the car connect and transport itself, could tell Manuel where we could go.
.
But it started with our conversation that he lives in Guaratinguetá, and he said he could take us to Guara even with our cats, our Christmas shopping, our suitcases, and everyone else who was in our car
The weather changed from rain to sunshine, an unbelievable spiritual experience. Incredibly authentic. When we arrived at André’s parents’ house, he didn’t even want any money to help, nor the sweets we wanted to give him. He just wanted to help us
He told me, “I always feel that we should help others.
This gift brought me the spirituality of everything, as I felt how our minds need to connect with everything, see the value of a loss, look at the positive side. As I always say, the positive side of illness, but yesterday I felt the positive side of the material loss, and even the sense of impermanence, listening to music, listening to him talk about the changes in his life at a time when he lost something and saw a new life.
I asked to take a picture, to share this story, as we should all have this beautiful genuineness to have this act and a Christmas gift that brings us from a lost place on a mountain path.
A profound gratitude, the kind I don’t even know how to explain.
Merry Christmas to all, because it’s not really about illness, a broken car, or material gifts
It is fitting to honor this lost moment, its impermanence; it was the profound solidarity of a new being that gave us all its compassion. It was there, in that loss, that I didn’t look for anything negative, seeing the good in the rain; I felt connected to those we are with, to the empathy of a positive mind. Yes, compassion truly appeared.
This past weekend I celebrated my 44th birthday, right in the middle of nature in the Atlantic Forest area. It’s precisely there that I’ve been living to recover my health and learn the value of all beings on Earth. Everything I learned before, as if it were literature, I’ve come to live and celebrate in this place, defending the environment. This time I attended lectures by the beings we’ve learned about from this land, from our lives.
I heard about defending nature, animals, and how nature could learn from the vegan nutritionist, which reminded me of how veganism helped me understand my illness. We practiced yoga and meditation, and our diet was vegan.
Well, I am the one who recovered from 2 comas and brain injuries, epilepsy, hallucinations, body image issues, vision problems, etc. And as I always said, I balance “diet, meditation, and medicine.” There I saw so many who understand this path of ours and the depth of our lives. Even though I still take medication, and I no longer avoid medicine as I once did.
So I have to tell you about when I came to live in the Atlantic Forest. I’ve known it since I was born, but it was just a vacation spot. But right around the time of COVID, I left São Paulo and went to live in Ubatuba. I was vegetarian, and sometimes I went back to eating meat. But now I’m vegan.
But before 2021 I had already been in my hospital hotel, I had already had permanent diagnoses. Can you imagine, like Multiple Sclerosis, Nervous System problems, Hypoglossal Neuritis, Schizophrenia, Cerebral Vasculitis and even Stroke..
My first epileptic seizure was in 2007, in Marrakech, Morocco. And as my mother observed, I even went to doctors and hospitals to see what it was; that persistent seizure didn’t seem so wrong, but it was unavoidable. But, from the hospital’s point of view, from what I understood, it was their way of trying to understand my brain. But every time they had to change what was.
Even I, avoiding medicine, but also taking medication, ended up in the hospital and my brain being destroyed. In other words, whether taking medication or not, I ended up, jokingly, in my hospital hotel.
Well, in 2021, as I already mentioned, my last brain injury was in 2021. And in fact, the last brain injury was in 2021, and they told me to eat meat since I had low vitamin B12 levels. I also had to take cortisone and rituximab at the Samaritano Hospital. This time it was autoimmune encephalitis.
But once again, I’m not saying anything was wrong with the medicine; it was an attempt to find out. But I would say, I must have had very poor nutrition, with no balance whatsoever, even deficiencies in vitamin D. I lived in Lima, Peru, where I didn’t even see the sun. This second time the pain started in 2016, and my second coma was in 2017
Back in 2021, with this last injury, as I always rejected medicine, I decided to eat meat. This last injury was difficult. I lost my ability to speak, and even to understand what it was, even though my speech therapist was showing it to me. I didn’t remember what it was. And it was even harder to focus.
But this time it gave me cholesterol and I couldn’t speak, I was hallucinating, and it was difficult to focus. This time it was my new diagnosis: “Autoimmune Encephalitis,” which Dr. Rodrigo de Holanda found. And today it makes sense to me; it’s related to what I eat.
In 2022, right there in Ubatuba, I met people who practice meditation, and I decided to go back to being vegetarian. I went to a nutritionist, started eating eggs, cheese, vegetables, etc., and learned to drink coffee an hour after eating so as not to lose iron and calcium, something I didn’t even understand myself, but my husband always had to help me remember.
That month I started meeting friends on these different philosophical paths, and even vegans. That’s when I started being present, and it even helped me to write. Even though I couldn’t write, and it’s still difficult, and reading.
In 2023, I was vegetarian. At the end of the year, I had a blood test, and my cholesterol was high. That’s when my neurologist, Dr. Rodrigo de Holanda, said it was genetic. Well, I decided I would find out more about what it was than what I ate. This October, until 2023, I decided to be vegan, just to prove it’s not genetic.
I came to learn about Ayurveda from my friend Rafaela, who is a psychologist, anthropologist, and lived in India to learn Ayurveda.
It was right there that I started to recover my health. I began to learn that the new diagnosis, autoimmune encephalitis, is about immunity, and I feel it’s closely related to what I eat.
But never in my life, I knew nothing about nutrition. It was there that I discovered what is most inflammatory.
This change in my diet has led me to hear from non-vegans, “Wow, it’s so hard to find vegan food, wow, you’re bothering so many people, wow, why do we have to listen to where there’s protein, wow, you’re going to get sick, etc.” And all we vegans and gluten-free eat are things that have brought me health, but this only works if we learn about our vitamins, calcium, iron, zinc, omega-3. We find so many things in our food, but not vitamin B12.. And I discovered this by having to learn what I eat.
It was right around the time I started learning that the biggest profit there is is medicine and hospitals. As I jokingly say, the hospital is my hotel, and I always realize that about 90 percent of my cases are due to diet. Either it’s a vitamin deficiency, inflammation, or eating all sorts of dietary mistakes.
‘m not saying anything against medicine, I’m just saying we need to learn where it comes from. Perhaps the difficult part is that we don’t learn how our bodies function without food.
But it was during this change that I started to get closer to animals, watching documentaries, and living close to nature. It makes you more present, more than dealing with fashion; it became my fashion, where so many things we use come from causing animals to suffer. But it made me observe my own existence. It makes you observe the timing of everything
I’ve lived in 8 wonderful countries, but I barely noticed how many animals there were, let alone what was lacking in my food. All to respect the culture, but not my own existence or that of other beings.
So, my dears, as I said in the other post when I was in a coma, a woman asked me, “Do you want to live or die?”
Today I would say, “Life never disappears, but I want to acknowledge that all beings on this earth… And never hurt or kill. I want to share with everyone their health, which comes from respecting everything on earth, from seeing its impermanence. It is there that one understands compassion and feels at peace.” This is what made me return to my soul.
This made me feel compassion for the diagnoses that Dr. Getúlio Rabello, Dr. Rodrigo de Holanda, and Euthymia helped me to live again and understand my brain.
And as Dr. Getúlio Rabello used to tell me, “you should write about what you feel to help patients and doctors.” I’m talking about food; it seems that being vegan reduces inflammation in my brain.
But my mind was drawn to these meditation groups, so many focused on Buddhism, Mindfulness, and tantric meditation. This helped me understand our minds. The pain helped me understand meditation; it brings us conscience.
Yesterday morning, I felt like I didn’t want to eat anything, I just wanted to drink. And I went to tell André that today this is my fast.
André told me, “That’s not fasting 🙂”. In fact, I didn’t want to do it for religious methods of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. Nor for Buddhism and Hinduism in a spiritual way. Simply, I felt a desire to let flow from what is in my body, and even in my soul.
So, for my body, I thought of juices as a form of vitamins. I started drinking water, then juices with fruits and vegetables and coconut, tea, and even coffee. Everything that wouldn’t weaken my immunity.
But in these judgments about fasting, our juice fast made me try to remember when I did my first fast, which I did in Morocco and London.
That first time I fasted was in Morocco in 2007 during Ramadan. I even went to look up Ramadan, which was from September to October, and how it works according to the lunar calendar.
I can’t forget that; I remember crossing the border from Spain to Morocco. I had traveled through Morocco and crossed to Ceuta, but I wanted to return to Morocco.
I remember Ramadan well there, fasting next to the bus drivers, but not being the tourist who doesn’t respect the culture. Even though they said it wasn’t necessary for me to do it.
But it was right around that time that I had my first epileptic seizure. I was 26 years old, and it was my first epileptic seizure. Of course, this has nothing to do with fasting, because you can eat at night, and at my friend’s house in Marrakech they don’t even observe fasting.
But when I returned to London, where I lived, and went to the hospital for the first time, they wanted to do tests and find out what had happened to my brain. My first mistake, which I managed to avoid because the doctor said I needed it, was throwing the medicine away and not wanting to go back for the test results.
That time, I wanted to learn some Indian methods to help me recover from what happened. I didn’t even know what my attack was, and I didn’t even know it was an epileptic seizure. During that Hindu fast, I spent many days drinking only water and powders, which I don’t even remember what I put in the water.
Well, yesterday I woke up with this craving, and I drank juice that I thought was vitamin-rich. I made juice from carrot, beetroot, apple, and lemon. The second was beetroot, carrot, sweet potato, strawberry, and blueberry. Then two coconut juices, coffee, chamomile tea, and water. I didn’t do this fast for cultural reasons, nor out of fear, it was more to cleanse my body.
Wow, this gave me so much energy, walking around, watering the plants we planted on the street, I even used a hose to water the trees in my yard. I even went for a walk to feed and pet the stray cats.
Still on my vegan diet, I think this fast makes it easier to do. It’s almost like bringing what I eat into juice 🙂
Of course, I took my epilepsy medication and vitamin B12.
But you know, even though it wasn’t a non-religious fast, I felt a desire to free myself, this energy arose, almost without using my cell phone. It was more about being close to nature, which made me more present. I loved how everything flows in our existence.
But at night, I got a headache. But it was right at bedtime. Then I thought, instead of focusing on the pain, I decided to meditate. Seeing that in my mind I was only thinking about what I did in 2007. So in my meditation I observed, focusing on other areas of my body and feeling the watering of the plants, making the juices, I didn’t see any worries. That reminded me of Lobsang, we meditate in any posture of being present.
Later, when I went to write, I started thinking about the past and the future, and what could harm the present. Meditating helped me sleep well.
And today, again, I woke up without an appetite, but I got up and did some stretching, yoga, and meditation, and prepared my breakfast and juice like yesterday. But I already felt in my body and mind that everything was flowing much better. Yes, I felt that we should observe what the body says, we just need to observe what it tells us. All that was missing was for me to accept what I couldn’t hear.
