Dr. Meow, could I schedule an appointment with you? I confess I’m so distressed… or rather, I can’t even explain it. But I discovered that Dr. Meow exists—an animal who helps the minds of so many cats.

— Of course, it’s a pleasure to have you visit. What’s your name?

— My name is Mitaka, but you can call me Mita. You know, I have such an empty feeling… or rather, a hard one. I can’t even tell if I’m unwell or sick. It’s more like the weight of being where I am.

— I understand that feeling, especially with a name as incredibly beautiful as yours. Do you know the origin of your name?

— No. When I arrived and found such a beautiful house, close to nature, where I could hide from everything… but they saw me and called me Mitaka—which sometimes turned into Mita. I felt that deep inside.

— What a beautiful name you have. It means impermanence. The most direct translation is ‘impermanence’ or ‘non-eternity.

— Wow, Dr. Meow! That’s why you’re so famous. I’ve traveled the world, and people have always told me about you—almost as someone who can see right into a person’s inner self.’

— Mita, can you see how perceiving the other person in their own moment acts as a mirror of what they, too, have gone through? Amidst our impermanence, the beauty lies precisely in understanding that this flow of feelings needs not to be reinforced or nurtured in our minds. But what, in fact, is this feeling you are experiencing?

— I don’t know… Maybe I have a doubt about my existence, or about why I’m living in this place and not the other one I liked.

— But if I went back to live there, wouldn’t it be the same feeling? You know, Mita, I, too, have lived in so many houses, streets, and countries, seeking to help my patients, and I always relate to that. Perhaps I realize I long to return to the last place I sought out—a place that was no longer the same as before. Almost as if I wouldn’t even appreciate it. That is why your name is so beautiful.

❤️

— Wow, Dr. Meow, that makes perfect sense. Just when I was feeling really good, they’d decide to take me to another house, another country… and when I went back there, I felt it wasn’t the same as before. Then I’d miss where I had been and want to leave again and go back to that other house.

— Yes, Mita. The term is also defined as ‘momentariness,’ indicating that everything changes from moment to moment, in a continuous flow of transformation. It is one of the ‘four seals’ of Buddhism (‘all conditioned phenomena are impermanent’) and a fundamental theme for spiritual reflection.

— That’s so interesting, Dr. Meow! You know, I used to stay at home, and suddenly I had to leave and stay for a while at another house. Then, just when I was doing well, they’d grab me, stuff me in a box, and put me in a car. They’d leave me at another house and I’d feel huge dissatisfaction, even though they gave me good food. Then, just as I was settling in, they’d haul me off again—right when I was getting used to that new house. Days would pass, and they’d cart me back to the house I liked. It makes me so mad! I feel trapped as they haul me back to the house where I used to live… but when I get there, nothing is the same; I don’t like it like I used to, and I don’t even get the food I liked anymore. Ugh, it’s so frustrating!

— What I feel is deep; it reminds me of the sea that comes and goes. And I used to like staying put, going back and forth. But today I find myself thinking: why am I here? It’s almost like that sea that came with the Sun… that has nothing to do with material things; it doesn’t exist. Even if my name is impermanent, I always used to go back and forth.

— I understand, Mita. Nature is the most beautiful thing I see, and that impermanence also ebbs and flows, much like a river. I understand that feeling. I think it’s the best way to meditate and observe our own emptiness.

— That’s true, Dr. Miau. It reminds me of what I heard about not following thoughts during meditation. Is that right?

❤️
— Exactly, Mita. When you inhale, hold, and exhale… and thoughts come up.

— Exactly, Dr. Miau. But what do I do to stop those thoughts?

— Great question, Mita. At first, we focus on our breathing and don’t notice the thoughts. But when you realize a thought is there, that’s when you try to stop it. I try to create a separation between the mind and consciousness.

— Dr. Miau, to be honest… that’s easy to say. But how do you do it?

— You’re right, Mita. It’s difficult and easy at the same time.

— But what do you find easy?

— Oh, Mita… I think it started when I was stuck on a boat. They took me away from Australia and away from nature, and there was nothing I could do. I was practically trapped—both on the boat and inside my own mind. At first, I even wanted to jump overboard, but I couldn’t even do that. That’s when I remembered the lessons I’d heard from a Sloth.

— Wow, Dr. Miau! Were there other animals on the boat?

— Yes, but he came from Africa and taught me how to stay still. Perhaps when he feels threatened, he prefers not to fight against himself. That taught me to try not to fight a battle within myself.

— Can you teach me in a way that I can actually do it?

— Of course. Let’s start by simply observing our breathing, without expecting anything. Usually, a thought will come up, and we just choose not to follow it. If you like, give it a name; this helps identify the thought so it doesn’t overpower us. If boredom arises, accept it. If worry arises, accept it. Just try to recognize it.

I confess: I hate going to Dr. Meow.

( Dao, I loved hearing your voice. It had been so quiet for so long… It almost felt like meditation. )

—

See that, Meow? I’m not even going to call you ‘Dr.’, because I already figure it’s just a form of classification… Or rather, pure ego. You don’t even acknowledge that you’ve done little research, nor have you done a doctorate, and yet you already want to classify yourself like that? How undervalued I am…

( — How interesting of a thought, but why is that so important? Call me Meow.)

Doctor Meow, but what have you actually studied about cats’ feelings… if you’re a koala? I might even call you doctor, since you respected me.

‘ Ah, Dao, in my greater teachings, I learned to feel that there isn’t a big difference between the beings of this existence of ours, on this Earth. It surprises me to see that you cats seem freer from attachments than human beings, than dogs… Some call you ‘owners’, or ‘mom’ and ‘dad’. But what strikes me there is how you leave a silence in that feeling.’

— But, Dr. Meow, where were you born? And how did you end up here? And what about these studies of yours to deal with me?

— But you know, Dao, I came from Australia, I lived near the eucalyptus tree and managed to stay as free as you. But they brought me around the world; they took away a good part of the freedom I had and made me travel the planet. I passed through Thailand, and when I saw you, I even thought you were from there. Seeing you made me recognize someone lost in the world, like me. There, a being isolated from the world, but not lost from the essence of our life.

— Ah, Dr. Meow, this study of yours is deeper. Knowing how to deal with everyone’s life, you understand this silence of mine. Perhaps it comes from my boredom with words, still trapped in a society incapable of understanding this emptiness.

— But why did you want to talk to me today? Are you more willing to recognize our ignorance in the face of our existence?

— Ah, Dr. Meow, these cat studies of yours aren’t right… I miss the Xus so much, and in a way I feel anger. Because I was already angry about traveling so much, but the way things are now, I don’t even know if they died or if they abandoned me. And the worst part is having to stay close to the dogs, who hate me.

(— Ah, Dao, you never told me who the Xus are. Actually, today you told me that you lived in their house, and you don’t anymore. )

Ah, Dr. Meow, that’s a long story… It’s just that I used to belong to the Xus’ house. At first, I jumped on Ju, and then she threw me to Xu. Back then she even made me watch the sunrise, meditate, and do yoga. Xu made me stretch… Wow, just telling it makes me so angry.

( Let’s meditate. Think of something good about the Xus, forget the bad things — not even because of them, but for your own sake. If you feed this anger, it will only hurt you. )”

With Love.

“I confess: I hate going to Dr. Meow.

( Dao, I loved hearing your voice. It had been so quiet for so long… It almost felt like meditation. )

—

See that, Meow? I’m not even going to call you ‘Dr.’, because I already figure it’s just a form of classification… Or rather, pure ego. You don’t even acknowledge that you’ve done little research, nor have you done a doctorate, and yet you already want to classify yourself like that? How undervalued I am…

( — How interesting of a thought, but why is that so important? Call me Meow.)

Doctor Meow, but what have you actually studied about cats’ feelings… if you’re a koala? I might even call you doctor, since you respected me.

‘ Ah, Dao, in my greater teachings, I learned to feel that there isn’t a big difference between the beings of this existence of ours, on this Earth. It surprises me to see that you cats seem freer from attachments than human beings, than dogs… Some call you ‘owners’, or ‘mom’ and ‘dad’. But what strikes me there is how you leave a silence in that feeling.’

— But, Dr. Meow, where were you born? And how did you end up here? And what about these studies of yours to deal with me?

— But you know, Dao, I came from Australia, I lived near the eucalyptus tree and managed to stay as free as you. But they brought me around the world; they took away a good part of the freedom I had and made me travel the planet. I passed through Thailand, and when I saw you, I even thought you were from there. Seeing you made me recognize someone lost in the world, like me. There, a being isolated from the world, but not lost from the essence of our life.

— Ah, Dr. Meow, this study of yours is deeper. Knowing how to deal with everyone’s life, you understand this silence of mine. Perhaps it comes from my boredom with words, still trapped in a society incapable of understanding this emptiness.

— But why did you want to talk to me today? Are you more willing to recognize our ignorance in the face of our existence?

— Ah, Dr. Meow, these cat studies of yours aren’t right… I miss the Xus so much, and in a way I feel anger. Because I was already angry about traveling so much, but the way things are now, I don’t even know if they died or if they abandoned me. And the worst part is having to stay close to the dogs, who hate me.

(— Ah, Dao, you never told me who the Xus are. Actually, today you told me that you lived in their house, and you don’t anymore. )

Ah, Dr. Meow, that’s a long story… It’s just that I used to belong to the Xus’ house. At first, I jumped on Ju, and then she threw me to Xu. Back then she even made me watch the sunrise, meditate, and do yoga. Xu made me stretch… Wow, just telling it makes me so angry.

( Let’s meditate. Think of something good about the Xus, forget the bad things — not even because of them, but for your own sake. If you feed this anger, it will only hurt you. )”

With Love

I was was joking trying to decolonize my brain, but it also taught me how to reduce inflammation within myself. 😻,

Questions that contain the history of my dangerous injuries. Today I’ll give a summary.

In 2007, I had my first epileptic seizure at the age of 26, and today I am 44 years old.

My first epileptic seizure was in Morocco. My first hospital was in London, and my doctors were from Brazil. My first neurologist was Dr. Getúlio Rabello until he passed away, after many falls and brain injuries, and today it is Dr. Rodrigo de Holanda who found a new diagnosis that makes a lot of sense to me, considering everything I’ve been through.

They considered the possibility of multiple sclerosis starting in 2008, but my first epileptic seizure was in 2007, causing loss of seizure control and the onset of brain lesions. In 2012, they suspected hypoglossal nerve neuritis. They also considered schizophrenia of neurological origin, stroke, and cerebral vasculitis. In 2013 and 2017, I went into a coma due to epileptic seizures, and in the hospital they tried to slow my progression so that I wouldn’t

But returning to life, I found myself with many brain injuries, and if I write, it’s not to seek anything negative. It is more look another way.

In 2021, even while taking medication for epilepsy, the pain returned, and I went to the hospital again. Dr. Rodrigo de Holanda, who gave me the final diagnosis, diagnosed me with autoimmune encephalitis. Now I finally see and understand that everything makes sense.

I’ve already gone through several diagnoses, several brain injuries, and due to my abilities after these last injuries in 2021, I couldn’t even understand anything. But today I truly understand what I have

Autoimmune encephalitis

is a serious inflammatory disease where the immune system, which should protect the body, mistakenly attacks the body’s own healthy brain cells

This time, as a vegan and meditating, it made me decolonize myself from being against medicine; it was more about understanding what my diagnoses are like, trying to figure out how this destruction of my brain is happening

In 2021, I felt emotional things helping me break down, it was right when a close friend died. Five days later, I was hospitalized with a new brain injury. This time I lost face recognition, speech, and hallucinated. I started taking cortisone and rituximab. I remember that in the hospital I had low levels of vitamin L12 and iron.

But in 2022, my cholesterol from eating meat was high, so I decided to go back to being vegetarian, this time with the help of a nutritionist. She made me eat eggs and taught me that when I do eat them, I shouldn’t drink coffee so I don’t lose iron and calcium. It was also in 2022 that I started meditating again. But at the end of the year, my cholesterol returned

Then in 2023, Dr. Rodrigo said it must be my genetic cholesterol, and he made me fight just for fun to prove it, that I was going to be vegan, and that it wasn’t genetic.

I was worried about how I could do it , so I decided to start with Ayurveda. That’s when, little by little, I began to change my diet.

Veganism starts to attract criticism, but being vegan makes you more aware of the structure of food. I personally knew nothing about cooking, nor the basics of healthy eating.

As a vegan, I started eating many non-inflammatory foods, and some anti-inflammatory ones, without even knowing what the basis of the disease was. And it was even harder to understand how I was getting better. But today I understand how so many foods used to make my brain inflamed.

So Dr. Rodrigo de Holanda came up with this diagnosis of autoimmune encephalitis, which made me, out of my inability to go back and try to find out what I wanted to discover about my brain and my mind.

When I had to start taking Rituximab twice a year, I also had to have the CD-19 lymphocyte test, which is a specific marker for lymphocytes.

Rituximab is a drug that works by “switching off” specific cells in the immune system

By eliminating these cells, the medication stops the inflammation and protects your nervous system from further damage.

This is the test that shows if I need to take Rituximab. Of course, when I regained consciousness I tried to find out what Rituximab is

When I found out it was inflammation of my own brain, it made me reflect on how many hospitals I’ve been to, and it reminded me of how many people go there because they because what they eat.

On my vegan journey, and with my lactose-free diet, I’ve completely changed my eating habits. I feel better, I’ve started meditating again, I can understand what causes inflammation in my brain. And I’m no longer refusing medication.

It shocked me, almost everything I eat, without even knowing it, is anti-inflammatory, and the balance is nothing compared to what is related to inflammation in the brain and body

Sugar (vegans hardly eat any of it

Animals, food produced, etc

These days, when I found out, I went to see what veganism was and it helped me recover. .

In 2025 I started to understand the basics of vegan food, I went to learn

1. Iron (Energy): Beans, lentils, and quinoa. (Rule: + Vitamin C).
2. Calcium (Structure): Kale, sesame seeds, and broccoli.
3. Vitamin B12 (Brain): Supplement.
4. Vitamin D (Sun/Bones): Sun or supplement.
5. Complete Protein: Brown rice + beans.
6. Vitamins A and C (Defense): Carrots and citrus fruits.
7. Omega-3 and Vitamin E: Flaxseed (always ground).

And when I came to find out what this exam is, I wanted to find out what’s inflamed in my brain

I discovered this last month, since not only do I eat a lot of what causes inflammation, but I’m also vegan. Last year I was supposed to take Rituximab twice a year, but I only needed it once.

When I went to find out about all the anti-inflammatory foods, I decided to eat everything that was anti-inflammatory.

Yes, let’s see if this lymphocyte 19 and 20 test I did yesterday comes back positive. If it’s 0, I don’t need Rituximab again. Let’s see if it turns out to be 0.

Can you believe I’m trying to observe my own brain’s diet? 🙂 But who knows, maybe a month of anti-inflammatory food can make this vegan battle much easier.

This diagnosis of mine has already made me lose hope of recovering. But in fact, I’ve discovered that nothing is negative; we can only accept the basis of our minds, of how we adapt

With loads love ,
Jule

The spiritual insight I gained when the car broke down. It was then that the mind began to look at everything in a positive way, not focusing solely on the negative. Moreover, I was already thinking negatively before the car broke down.

We were thinking of going from Ubatuba to Guaratinguetá. But we wanted to take the route from Ubatuba via Paraty to Cunha. It’s a beautiful route and we wanted to buy a Christmas present in Cunha.

Ubatuba is a coastal region, and we wanted to get to Cunha, which is a mountainous region.

But on that way, I smelled a strong burning smell, a very strong smell. André said it must be from someone’s car coming down the road.

But I was joking, thinking about the two of us driving up from Paraty to Cunha, in an old car with two cats, and going through the rain, it would be like something out of a movie if the car broke down.

Well, we were going up, and suddenly the car broke down. No phone because we can’t use the internet, since this whole route is disconnected..

And me, who knew the road was long, I brought water to drink, but when the car broke down I told André maybe it would help lower the engine temperature. Especially since I know nothing about cars 🙂

So I decided to write, since the best thing I know is to focus and bring my mind calmer.
So now in my image I think everything will be alright. I see cars going up and leaving us calm. André going to get more water from the tap, our cats calm, and me walking to try to get the internet

Also, to explain, in December in Brazil it’s summer, and in our country there are mosquitoes, so we use repellent. I’ve always used everything natural and vegan since I became vegan. To top it all off, the natural repellent that was in the glove compartment exploded and the oil fell on my foot. Even walking with oily feet in the rain was more difficult. Since I was trying to find an internet connection, I already needed to call for help.

But, since the car was showing red, and this water coming from the tap makes the red disappear, we had hope that it would work..

But since that wasn’t working, I started imagining that a nice human being would appear, come and help us move the car, and unbelievably, he did..

It’s like the mind connects. Now I imagine we’ll arrive in Cunha, and even connect with Manuel (André’s father), and who knows, maybe André and I can reach Guaratinguetá

Today O translate and what O wrote

Unbelievable, a gentleman appeared talking to André. I’m writing because what I was thinking came true. A new human being who wanted to help us.

And to top it all off, Charles appeared, a being from Guara who, in addition to trying to help the car connect and transport itself, could tell Manuel where we could go.

.

But it started with our conversation that he lives in Guaratinguetá, and he said he could take us to Guara even with our cats, our Christmas shopping, our suitcases, and everyone else who was in our car

The weather changed from rain to sunshine, an unbelievable spiritual experience. Incredibly authentic. When we arrived at André’s parents’ house, he didn’t even want any money to help, nor the sweets we wanted to give him. He just wanted to help us

He told me, “I always feel that we should help others.

This gift brought me the spirituality of everything, as I felt how our minds need to connect with everything, see the value of a loss, look at the positive side. As I always say, the positive side of illness, but yesterday I felt the positive side of the material loss, and even the sense of impermanence, listening to music, listening to him talk about the changes in his life at a time when he lost something and saw a new life.

I asked to take a picture, to share this story, as we should all have this beautiful genuineness to have this act and a Christmas gift that brings us from a lost place on a mountain path.

A profound gratitude, the kind I don’t even know how to explain.

Merry Christmas to all, because it’s not really about illness, a broken car, or material gifts

It is fitting to honor this lost moment, its impermanence; it was the profound solidarity of a new being that gave us all its compassion. It was there, in that loss, that I didn’t look for anything negative, seeing the good in the rain; I felt connected to those we are with, to the empathy of a positive mind. Yes, compassion truly appeared.

with love ,Jules

This past weekend I celebrated my 44th birthday, right in the middle of nature in the Atlantic Forest area. It’s precisely there that I’ve been living to recover my health and learn the value of all beings on Earth. Everything I learned before, as if it were literature, I’ve come to live and celebrate in this place, defending the environment. This time I attended lectures by the beings we’ve learned about from this land, from our lives.

I heard about defending nature, animals, and how nature could learn from the vegan nutritionist, which reminded me of how veganism helped me understand my illness. We practiced yoga and meditation, and our diet was vegan.

Well, I am the one who recovered from 2 comas and brain injuries, epilepsy, hallucinations, body image issues, vision problems, etc. And as I always said, I balance “diet, meditation, and medicine.” There I saw so many who understand this path of ours and the depth of our lives. Even though I still take medication, and I no longer avoid medicine as I once did.

So I have to tell you about when I came to live in the Atlantic Forest. I’ve known it since I was born, but it was just a vacation spot. But right around the time of COVID, I left São Paulo and went to live in Ubatuba. I was vegetarian, and sometimes I went back to eating meat. But now I’m vegan.

But before 2021 I had already been in my hospital hotel, I had already had permanent diagnoses. Can you imagine, like Multiple Sclerosis, Nervous System problems, Hypoglossal Neuritis, Schizophrenia, Cerebral Vasculitis and even Stroke..

My first epileptic seizure was in 2007, in Marrakech, Morocco. And as my mother observed, I even went to doctors and hospitals to see what it was; that persistent seizure didn’t seem so wrong, but it was unavoidable. But, from the hospital’s point of view, from what I understood, it was their way of trying to understand my brain. But every time they had to change what was.

Even I, avoiding medicine, but also taking medication, ended up in the hospital and my brain being destroyed. In other words, whether taking medication or not, I ended up, jokingly, in my hospital hotel.

Well, in 2021, as I already mentioned, my last brain injury was in 2021. And in fact, the last brain injury was in 2021, and they told me to eat meat since I had low vitamin B12 levels. I also had to take cortisone and rituximab at the Samaritano Hospital. This time it was autoimmune encephalitis.

But once again, I’m not saying anything was wrong with the medicine; it was an attempt to find out. But I would say, I must have had very poor nutrition, with no balance whatsoever, even deficiencies in vitamin D. I lived in Lima, Peru, where I didn’t even see the sun. This second time the pain started in 2016, and my second coma was in 2017

Back in 2021, with this last injury, as I always rejected medicine, I decided to eat meat. This last injury was difficult. I lost my ability to speak, and even to understand what it was, even though my speech therapist was showing it to me. I didn’t remember what it was. And it was even harder to focus.

But this time it gave me cholesterol and I couldn’t speak, I was hallucinating, and it was difficult to focus. This time it was my new diagnosis: “Autoimmune Encephalitis,” which Dr. Rodrigo de Holanda found. And today it makes sense to me; it’s related to what I eat.

In 2022, right there in Ubatuba, I met people who practice meditation, and I decided to go back to being vegetarian. I went to a nutritionist, started eating eggs, cheese, vegetables, etc., and learned to drink coffee an hour after eating so as not to lose iron and calcium, something I didn’t even understand myself, but my husband always had to help me remember.

That month I started meeting friends on these different philosophical paths, and even vegans. That’s when I started being present, and it even helped me to write. Even though I couldn’t write, and it’s still difficult, and reading.

In 2023, I was vegetarian. At the end of the year, I had a blood test, and my cholesterol was high. That’s when my neurologist, Dr. Rodrigo de Holanda, said it was genetic. Well, I decided I would find out more about what it was than what I ate. This October, until 2023, I decided to be vegan, just to prove it’s not genetic.

I came to learn about Ayurveda from my friend Rafaela, who is a psychologist, anthropologist, and lived in India to learn Ayurveda.

It was right there that I started to recover my health. I began to learn that the new diagnosis, autoimmune encephalitis, is about immunity, and I feel it’s closely related to what I eat.

But never in my life, I knew nothing about nutrition. It was there that I discovered what is most inflammatory.

This change in my diet has led me to hear from non-vegans, “Wow, it’s so hard to find vegan food, wow, you’re bothering so many people, wow, why do we have to listen to where there’s protein, wow, you’re going to get sick, etc.” And all we vegans and gluten-free eat are things that have brought me health, but this only works if we learn about our vitamins, calcium, iron, zinc, omega-3. We find so many things in our food, but not vitamin B12.. And I discovered this by having to learn what I eat.

It was right around the time I started learning that the biggest profit there is is medicine and hospitals. As I jokingly say, the hospital is my hotel, and I always realize that about 90 percent of my cases are due to diet. Either it’s a vitamin deficiency, inflammation, or eating all sorts of dietary mistakes.

‘m not saying anything against medicine, I’m just saying we need to learn where it comes from. Perhaps the difficult part is that we don’t learn how our bodies function without food.

But it was during this change that I started to get closer to animals, watching documentaries, and living close to nature. It makes you more present, more than dealing with fashion; it became my fashion, where so many things we use come from causing animals to suffer. But it made me observe my own existence. It makes you observe the timing of everything

I’ve lived in 8 wonderful countries, but I barely noticed how many animals there were, let alone what was lacking in my food. All to respect the culture, but not my own existence or that of other beings.

So, my dears, as I said in the other post when I was in a coma, a woman asked me, “Do you want to live or die?”

Today I would say, “Life never disappears, but I want to acknowledge that all beings on this earth… And never hurt or kill. I want to share with everyone their health, which comes from respecting everything on earth, from seeing its impermanence. It is there that one understands compassion and feels at peace.” This is what made me return to my soul.

This made me feel compassion for the diagnoses that Dr. Getúlio Rabello, Dr. Rodrigo de Holanda, and Euthymia helped me to live again and understand my brain.

And as Dr. Getúlio Rabello used to tell me, “you should write about what you feel to help patients and doctors.” I’m talking about food; it seems that being vegan reduces inflammation in my brain.

But my mind was drawn to these meditation groups, so many focused on Buddhism, Mindfulness, and tantric meditation. This helped me understand our minds. The pain helped me understand meditation; it brings us conscience.

With Love , Jules

My dear friends, I love sharing my lessons, my falls, and I see the beauty of life in beginning to learn.

It mainly started during moments of contradiction in my brain, but I feel it right there in my mind.

Even with the words I already felt at that moment, I sensed the possibility of what I didn’t want to hear. I was born already feeling the injustice of our world, but I didn’t perceive all of this internal struggle; I looked at it from the outside. In a way, an internal loneliness devalued my existence.

Some words from Buddhism made me realize that the basis of my suffering is indeed dissatisfaction and the attachment of my brain and my mind. The pain from there comes anger, jealousy, my ego. In fact, the illness begins to become apparent. It’s the path of trying to diminish it.

Yes, it did take a while to realize I could be happy, to be present. But it started in 2007 when I was 26 years old and had my first epileptic seizure and began losing parts of my brain. This happened when I was in Morocco. From there I started traveling to India and learning about Buddhism.

I had two Comas, one in Thailand and another in Peru, in São Paulo. There I felt a strong loss of areas of my brain. But my last brain lesions were in 2021. But it’s not the pain, it’s the brain, it’s our mind.

In 2021, my last lesion was very hard; losing the ability to speak, write, read, and being lost in my mind. Or rather, I would say, the certainties of the mind don’t forget, but I couldn’t explain it to another person. But along the way, without my own words being very clear, came meditation and veganism, and feeling nature. Sometimes, lost, even touching a tree to understand myself, the earth as Mother Earth, and trying to write and listen to what I write.

And there, even with brain injuries, I felt the silence and the meditations. Today I try to observe the flow of thought and even observe the pain, the breath, the separation, and just observe the impermanence of everything. I learned to always look at any situation in a positive way. And in fact, this helped me recover.

This even made me start to observe if I had other lives, or future lives. But suddenly, as you can see, there our silence is considered selfish because of our silent attack on the minds of all of us.

This fall made me observe the present; almost everything is similar. I even start to see my cats, how the new one is jealous, that psychologically we think we came from my life. But there we see, through recordings, that the cats alone don’t fight in silence when we leave, but when we arrive, the fights and the drama begin, wanting us to see and demonstrate.

So many people consider only human beings to be elevated, enlightened, but I feel that every being has the potential for fear, ego, jealousy, and anger, just like us. I even feel it’s not by chance that my cat Dao appeared by chance; she may be a being who came close to me as a human being who can become enlightened. I even feel that for a human being to feel more elevated, it seems like a form of ego.

Veganism changed me, as did Buddhism and my friends, who seem to be in a spiritual way. We began to deal with compassion for all beings.

My existence has always been about words, but losing words and experiencing errors in my brain made me identify more with acts like cats, because I don’t quite understand what they want to demonstrate.

That made me identify a lot with the film Flow; it identifies the different animals, without words, it made me see the beauty of existence, which isn’t identical to the origins of a being. That reminded me that losing my mind isn’t about the mind.

It makes me think, dear patients, it’s not this loss that signifies negativity, it’s more about where the decolonization of the mind begins.

That’s where we can begin to discover the origin of the pain that comes from relaxation, from dissatisfaction, from impermanence, and discover the ego, jealousy, anger, and we can’t even perceive this impermanence; we just need to see the consciousness of our existence.

There I am trying to lessen these mistakes of mine, trying all the right actions.

It always makes me ponder how, during my first coma, a woman came to me and asked, “Do you want to live or die?”, as if she were Tara, since it happened in a Buddhist country. But a girl asked me what I would say if it happened again during my third coma. I think it’s been two years that I’ve always pondered this. Today I think that our existence never disappears.

We just need to evolve from our mistakes, from our minds, from our souls, it made me see that we are all the same lives, and evolve in our compassion for everything. There it is where it is comin peace.

With love Jules

I really have to let go of this Chico thing in my mind.

But this time it’s difficult. I stayed with André and Chico and tried to eat in my little house, and he doesn’t even notice that everything is being eaten by the ant. Ju always stays by my side so I can eat, but she’s traveling like this. André doesn’t notice my anger, and this soft food that the ant makes. Or worse, does he notice my anger and wants me to evolve?

But it’s difficult, since Chico, even worse, has a chef’s palate and eats everything and invades all the food in the big house; he opens the oatmeal, the bread, the papaya, and these human beings can’t even imagine everything he invades. If I tried to stay close to André, he would go and run to get to everything.

It’s hard that they put me, like you, as a cat psychologist. And one hour into the office, three seconds later he jumps on another chair and I started doing the same thing with anger, hatred and worse, I’m not even like myself and I’m depressed.

I’ve been getting really sad about how I used to be, alone at home with birds, rats and possums visiting, and now Chico lives at home every day and he had even told me that I had to adapt. I had adapted to Gandhi who always comes to eat. Or rather, before everything was better, from this inpermanence they say, I couldn’t even imagine how it was before it was better. Is it time for me to realize how it will even be that more cats will appear?

But at least Jules understands. But I see that before I could go to the house in São Paulo, then to her friend Lu’s house, and to Joana Maura’s house and I wouldn’t do anything. But if Chico went to their house, he would do it until we cats could no longer exist. This time Ju went traveling and I had to stay home.

But because you made me think about what Jules means to me. And I never thought she meant anything. And that question made me forget a lot about Chico.

Even worse whenJules arrived and didn’t even see me, just looking at nothing very clear, as if she was like Chico too. Worse still, in the middle of the night I screamed because I wanted to catch a lizard.

But I could say that “My unbalanced words are the luxury of my silence.” Clarice Lispector

When she saw the lizard, she wanted to teach me that life has value, but then I saw the hypocrisy since Jules also put poison on the ant. Since she doesn’t want to let me kill the bird, and worse, the lizard, and she wanted to talk about beautiful things. Well, her psychology made me lose focus on Chico’s hatred, she turned to Jules who doesn’t even help me with what I want.

Well,

If you are on the right path, go forward; if you are on the wrong path, go back. Lao Tse

Recuo das reflexões, isso me afasta de estar presente .

Dao

As my memory is faulty, I can even see that it is beautiful. Because there are indeed some things that mark us. But so many things have disappeared, that’s okay

Yes, some things stuck with me. One was Lama Lobsang who said pain is a gift. And Dr. Getúlio Rabello told me I should write what I felt when I got sick. It left an impression on me like last year I would say to a girl when I told her about my coma. This makes me ponder.

In my first coma, I saw a woman who asked me if I wanted to live or die. I remember I said I wanted it because of my grandmother, and my boyfriend at that time. This is something spiritual in my opinion, and I don’t even know who it is. That was in 2013.

Well, it’s not that girl I told, she told me “And if it were now, what would you say.”

It touched me so much and I didn’t even know what to respond. Today I think my downfall, my injuries brought me more happiness, learning how to observe pain, and being around these new friends, and people who didn’t abandon me like I was.

I think I love life, and it reminds me of my first neurologist Dr Getúlio who told me, “You write well, intelligently because instead of books why don’t you write for us doctors. You have to describe what you feel.”

What I would say to Dr Getúlio, “you shouldn’t scare the patient, try where I felt the pain. You can breathe and move the pain to another place. You can help me realize that pain is your friend to find out. What if You know how to meditate, you will be able to do it even if you dominate your mind, but you need to see that pain is your friend to help you, it wants to show you how to live, that’s how we are born, but you know, we have to observe pain and protect our mind, and take it away. fear. Fear harms our lives”

I would also tell him that he should tell his patients that we use 3 percent of the brain, and I only learned about it after my brain injuries . There, in that moment of despair, we have to encourage thinking about the positive things about falls, not the negative things. Even stimulating other areas of the brain that I never used. I would even say that food is very related to the mind, it helps me recover. I knew none of this before my illness, which changes its name all the time

Well, I, with brain injuries, write wrong, not ashamed of mistakes due to disability, I like to write everything for everyone, peace, the soul doesn’t get stuck in the negative, my mistakes make me do everything slowly. And I even counted my mistakes of the soul.

These days I opened up to Monja Tenzin and my new friends after my injuries

You know since 2013 that I always think I was invented, it goes back and forth in my mind.

Nun Tenzin told me
“You who had 2 comas and brain injuries have improved a lot, but it’s still not everything, but you have to think about how well you are, sometimes you can create new fantasy scenarios. It may not be. good for avoiding negative things.

And even if it’s true 💚, whatever we can do, that’s okay. Even if we can do it. If people don’t like us, but we let it in our hearts let it go down. Think only about positive things. “

So yes, you know, I would tell everyone if I’m better it’s because I want to encourage everyone not to get stuck in a classification of a disease, and injuries. In fact, my blog is classified as decolonind my Mind. But it is in Portuguese.

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Before, I didn’t even know what I wanted to decolonize from. Today I think I don’t want to decolonize the prisons of my mind and want to prove it.

I write to understand that if I had this coma and this girl came, I must make everyone realize that we have lost the speed of being present. It even makes me observe everything with compassion.

So if I had the third coma, I would say “I want to live close to people with beautiful spirituality to tell about my ego, and discover what I want to free myself from and tell so that no one is trapped in a classification of illness as if we don’t exist, because that’s where we discover the beauty of existence

But you know, we don’t need another coma, but it is in our fall that we will slowly realize that the Pain comes from the spiritual side of the people around you and you didn’t even realize it. There I see the beauty of life

With Love Jules.