The inner beauty, it takes time to see it, even if I have to see it from the inside, it seems that I can’t see the glasses, and maybe imagining it seems it’s blurry inside the mind.

Well, when we are on this path, we don’t care much about external beauty, because when we fall out of our body, we notice almost nothing of what we thought before.

So I look for my inner beauty. It was my fall that makes me present.

So, I want to share, as I have many friends, in spirituality and they will share with me, that a fall is even a gift.

As the Hospital is almost my hotel, I tell everyone to try to meditate, and there’s also a mirror there and you can’t see it. I began to see the attendants, doctors, nurses, cleaners with more compassion.

Because despite my losses, my brain injuries, the pain. But now I see how difficult it is for everyone to come every day when they come to take care of the sick person. And how they had to deal with all the pain and the anger and the rage and the death. I started to be quieter with the attendants. I try to be less in the ego.

At the beginning of my fall, it was in 2007, but today in 2023 I am grateful for my falls and I see what I had learned and I did not realize the value of teaching.

In 2008 I became friends with Lama Lobsang, and he told me “everything you said to me is a gift in everything in your life.”

I said that even my first diagnosis and said “it will make you learn to be present”.

Well, I was disgusted, distressed. After all, because he couldn’t understand, or worse, he knew that he should have gone through tougher things.

And it was even tougher because I knew that he was from Tibet and had gone through deep problems, of the body, as it is the kind of torture, but Lama Lobsang is very compassionate.

But these years there are some words that my new friends will help me a lot.

“Let the thought flow.” She doesn’t even imagine, when she gave the freedom of the mind, I started to realize and managed not to follow the thought in meditation, and it made me aware.

And another friend I met in Asia was from Israel and was arrested in Japan. He was a drug dealer, and in Japan he was imprisoned for years and could not speak, read and be alone. “ “We have to learn who we are, money is nothing, the body is nothing, the hardest prison is with ourselves. But when he manages to discover himself, he will even be in prison.” So did he learn people to free the mind.

The last time I ended up in the hospital with a brain injury was in 2021. It was right around the time that my good friend Sho died.

I suffered a lot from losing my friend, but today I see it in a way, it was sad, and beautiful. Sho is from a family in India, and he and I have lived in many countries and we always feel like we are an outsider. Sometimes it seems to me that he is even more present.

As we went to college in NY, we later found ourselves in different areas of the world. When I was trapped in neither human religion nor philosophy. I went to see what Sho used to say, so I could free myself from everything in my mind.

I went to listen to Sho’s whats words.

Fundamental difference between religion and spirituality explained in a photo.

As he said “The difference of a religion is how

Aquarium. , and spirituality is the Ocean.

You know, after my friend’s death it made me feel that spirituality is on my side. The Lama from Nepal appeared in Ubatuba, then my friend Rodrigo came and brought Chopra’s meditation, and then a Tantra nun came and then a group of women we are in Chopra’s philosophy.

It was even shocking, I even left and came back. The mind even makes you tired sometimes. But tired of gratitude.

Of a beauty, that a loss sometimes perceives and is not even seen from the outside. Maybe who we are, and when we discover our inner beauty and that we are equal. Maybe it’s from when we managed to accept everything that still feels like we are one in this universe.

With Love

Jules

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Loads of love
Jules

My cognitive dream, this time it was like for people to rent and to destroy the tree.

My house is in front of the sea, but when they rented it, they wanted to have a wedding, and they decided to cut down a tree. The tree is old and beautiful, but people don’t respect nature.

They started to destroy the tree, the tree started to singing to me , saying Jules, jules. I asked immediately.

They were not respecting me, I was so angry and knowing how they can I not respect the nature.

This people who rented my house , and started to ask help of God. I asked help for the sea, and for the nature.

I sang “Sea, you can destroy my house, but you can help the tree.”

The sea asked also help of the wind, and the wind asked asked help of rain.

The tree said “Jules come up the tree, you will survive now.”

I came up the tree.

Dao came together , and very slowly .

The rain started strong, and people to destroy another tree. The wind was even hard and people when cut, the coconut fall, and the wind felt them falling in the people who where cutting. “ Action and Reaction

The bird sang, that few human beings know that they have many gods. Dao (my cat) said that here she knows the sun, the moon, the earth and the sea. But one tree said it has many others, and none appear to be a human being.

This was my dream, it made me think a lot, what does it mean.

So I decided to walk around the city and see the trees. I was watching by chance, I saw a store with trees and when I entered, I saw a lady who was so hostile. I was surprised, but wanted to keep my mind at peace.

She was so unfriendly was the clerk at the place where they sold trees. When I was looking at a tree, I was really surprised, it was a big tree, and I said I wanted to plant it. And she told me it was for decoration.

My reaction was to tell me about my dream, she ignore me. I told to explain to my mind. Even I try to remember all that I have seen what in my life. But I remember, I should not think about negative things. It will control my mind.

I remember it was great, it reminded me of that inside of me. I decide to walk , to meditate and to write. I started to observe what I sea. I was wondering, what I think so much of the treas.

When I got to my house, and I saw it, it made me think that my house was made of trees. But I didn’t even know what it was called. My mother told me she was from Ypêit, my husband said he was from Peróba.

But when I started to ponder, and to sea the trees. I remembered when I went to look at the trees at the base of my house, awareness came. My hose it is made by deforestation made me understand my own understand.

It made me remember that my home is by nature. I kept thinking about what the birdhouse would be like, where the animals that roam the trees.
I remember of the cata, Monkey, Koala
squirrel, Laziness, Panda, Bear.

It reminded me of fruits, which we eat, and animals too. It reminded me of the Ocas Indigenous people and that it was their home.

And then it made me remember that when Sidarta found the mind, it was close to the tree.

But the tree makes me understand the basis of consciousness. It makes me think how my dream makes me observe how decorating is wanting to demonstrate to the other, not to oneself. The tree is the base of our Ocas, and the reaction and action. We have to plant the trees.
To begin with, think that it is the trees that will achieve emptiness and Compassion for all of us.

Love
Jules

These days, all of a sudden, everything we discussed, the wind came here in Ubatuba, in Brasil. I, who live in front of the sea, went to look and saw the tree arguing, going back and forth. She looked like my mirror. But I didn’t even notice.

I kept looking, recording and seeing how long that war between the trees and the wind would take, and I went to the bathroom and listened to the things that were breaking. André (my husband) and I were in different places in the house. We asked what broke. The house was closed, and we saw nothing.

Well, we didn’t find the one that was broken, but the one that made me think about how nature is far beyond how we are.

It made me think because, before the wind, André and I were arguing strongly, but seeing nature made me angry. I remembered that in places there in cities and so many people with so much fear, negative, and so many beautiful things.

So, when I opened the house the other day, I saw the glass on the side of the house and it was attacked by the tree, but I remembered that we shouldn’t even think about negative things. I’ve even learned from the Tibetans that it’s the way to harm yourself.

It reminded me of beautiful things, it made me think of the things I’ve learned from the encounters I’ve seen these days.

I learned from my friend Ana Paula that there are two birds in the Bird, one with Emptiness and one with Compassion.

And I found these words, “The two parts of genuine acceptance—seeing clearly and holding our experience with compassion—are as interdependent as the two wings of a great bird. Together they allow us to fly and be free.”

I also heard from a 99 year old lady who made me think, she said of her life. She she said “it’s a particle with consciousness.”

Every day I see people who have stopped having to prove anything, but still trying to find out why we live and who we are.

He was also at a 95th birthday party and he told me when he saw a girl and said “I don’t know if she’s my son’s girlfriend, but there are times when we shouldn’t say anything.”

I confess, like so many people talk about God, I feel very uncomfortable hearing from God.

Now when my friend said that it was really stuck in my mind. I told I heard from a friend that the word god, karma etc, helped me to take the fear out of words, she said “it’s still stuck in your mind.”

So when I met Fatume these days, she’s from Lebanon and has been in Brazil for 41 years. Our conversation was about everything. We talked about Islam. She told me and she is Muslim she told me allah ( god).

She asked me what I think about existence. “I said that I’ve read many philosophies and theologies, since I almost died, sometimes I don’t even know if I’m on earth. What I do know is that I know almost nothing, I don’t even know why I live.” No sadness, but I don’t know who we are.

I realize that sometimes when I clear my mind, then the person tells me.

And all the time I’m finding the petals (the people less trapped in traditions) the people who say I’m love appear. Fatume, he told me, it doesn’t matter what the name of a thing is. For her it’s Allah, for me I never knew, maybe a spirituality, with love and freedom.

But I know when I get angry, upset I do everything I shouldn’t.

Mrs. Futama, told me that she has a connection with God and I felt “almost no one will understand. But I understand, Only we are crazy. “

Tears came out of both of us. Mine was happiness, love.

Who knows that one day I am a particle of emptiness, and then I don’t even react when the words of the other see that it’s a mirror that recognizes and has disappe. But if we want, we have to decolonized our mind

Love , Jules