Meditation Helps My Hallucination

I want to write about something and related to my mind. It’s hard to open up about me, but as I told Nese, I’ve always been open to everything. Today I talked to my friend and she is from Turkey and knows me well.

My friends help me a lot of how I was, and I see that I still am. So my friends explain to me that I always loved to be open. It was after my first coma and hallucinations. But sometimes ask me if I hallucinate what I see is reality or not?

In my first coma that I had, I was in Thailand. And when I woke up I was sure I was poisoned.

But even so I continued to hear words inside my head, and voices to me and as if I heard people on the side of the house.

I wanted to tell you how it’s been helping a lot with Denise’s therapy. That’s help me lot, I want to keep

This year Denise Invited me to go in a class of Gyaltsen Tsering, and he is from Tibet. The meeting was at the zoon. He lives in India and there is a Brazilian nun who translates his words.

Sense I was born in Brazil,But my languages were mixed. Even if my parents all from Brazil, But my school was in French, And as a little child it was an English.

It will be easier to ask a question a belt my brain send any English. But I knew that I was supposed to speak in Portuguese.

I tried to ask a simple question. I thought I had hallucination. Oh and when I send, The Brazilian nun asked me what I have. Watch disease that I have. I thought that I had 2 comas, and a speech therapist. So even in my mind I am trapped by speaking and writing. So I tried.But the more I realize, when it affects me in an emotional way, it turns into an epileptic fit.
In my first coma that I had, I was in Thailand. And when I woke up I was sure I was poisoned.

But the Lama had me here to meditate on how to put my foot down. Let your mind stay on its feet. Pay attention to be present. Every now you will go out and try to get back on foot. And stop and wait and ask yourself is it real? Stop and meditate for your mind and stay still and then you will question is it possible that your mind is doing or real?

But even so, I continued to hear words inside my head, and voices to me and as if I heard people on the side of the house.

It happened this year, but I remembered the Tibetan Buddhist I met.

I had never been of any religion, but I had friends all over the world, so I tried to learn.

In 2008 I was in India and I went to Dharamsala and met Denise. Dalai Lama was teaching a course on Buddhism and I took it. His first words of his “don’t be Buddhist, respect all religions, but respect what’s inside you”. I found it admirable because I didn’t want to convert anyone.

I was with Haiko and I spoke English, but I had already heard Portuguese and I met Denise. As I didn't know anything about Buddhism and we became friends. Denise asked me if I wanted to go to Karmapa, I decided to read it, I said yes.

Karmapa is an important Lama like the Dalai Lama, but even I never believed in anything, but I wanted to go and I went.

I had thought it would be a class with the Dalai Lama, so I would learn something. But Denise was responsible for the Buddhist temple in Espírito Santo.

I was so shocked because there I heard his words, but that we would have a private place. When I even went to ask a lama what I should do.He gave me a tissue, told me to put my head on the floor, count three times and ask a questions.

So hard for me just one question but I’ve always bent down and I don’t know what’s the matter with my brain.Karmapa told me it's all in your mind and I will always be with you.

Perhaps to you, it seems like a simple answer. At that time I wanted to thank you, but I think differently. That answer is deeper.

But at that time I wanted to say thank you, even if I didn’t think it was simple. As she lived in London Denise asked me if she could bring her gift. It was a gift for Lama Lobsang

Lama Lobsang was teaching Buddhism in Europe. He lived in London and became my friend, or rather a teacher without my having given his lectures.

Lama Lobsang came to my college to get his gift, even when he said he could take it. We met at LSE and our conversations started .

Lama Lobsang came to my house many times, but I remember he invited me to go to his house. That’s the day I was that sprayed it about my brain. .

Once again he called me and told me I should go to his house. I didn’t want to because I was desperate for my brain.

When I got to his house, I started talking about my brain.

But Lama Lobsang, didn’t react to anything. He told me to go to the kitchen and told me to sit down. He asked me to be silent for the kitchen. He asked me to stay still and I watched with him putting the food.

We ate very calmly and talked, but as we were transferred to another part of the house he said to me: “The head”Everything came back, I started talking and my brain started to stories, to despair and nervousness.

I remember Lama Lobsang so well said
“Jules you make up your mind, you attack yourself, you have to calm you mind. “ I remember that he would always say do you have everything why do you destroy yourself” You are intelligent you are beautiful you can afford everything”

Those words were strong. But even after Lama Lobsang dyed . And when he calm me and I did not pick up. I regret because all of his works words he taught me a lot .

I had even asked Lama Lobsang what he thought of Vipassana. I even remember that I was afraid that I could not fo out. “

But it’s been years since I’ve not been meditating and dealing with myself and listening from the inside and outside. It is hard when it is inside and out.

“Meditation we have our level it is not a prison otherwise you’re not we have a deal with her self”

Denise makes me wake up and go back to how she always was. I advocate medicine but meditation helps. As I imagine my religious friends ask for the company of God and Goddesses.

Sometimes I still wonder if it’s true or not , but at least I’m getting better. The floral also helps me a lot and even for me to be open to you.

So I want to share we have to come our mind. It doesn’t matter about our disease we had to calm ourselves.

Love,

Jules

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