Whenever we are in the present. But the present, made me in the past and where I am.

Sometimes a word makes us change, we don’t even realize it at the time.

Well, in 2010, I was doing my PhD at LSE which was about Israel and Palestine and I dropped out. I was treated so well in Israel and Palestine and I don’t even know Arabic and Hebrew. I even had to take Arabic and Hebrew classes. But I didn’t know how I could have peace.

At my college I had a friend from Israel who had refused to join the Army

In Israel, young men have to be 3 years old, and women have to be 2 years old. My friend had refused to join the army. He was imprisoned for a year and asked and said he wouldn’t go, so he was imprisoned inside Palestine. They thought he would change his mind, but in 2 years in prison inside Palestine he learned Arabic.

Well, my friend was doing his doctorate about Africa, and I told him that I had seen the Israeli army inside Palestine and I had seen children being arrested and I was shocked. I went to tell him, as he knew about the injustices, I told him

“But if you speak Hebrew and also know how to speak Arabic, you can help”

And he told me

“But if you’re from a farm family, why don’t you do something about indigenous people?”

Well, I left my PhD for India and you understand where we are from because the internal prison is complex. I think I started to understand that social problems are always more outside than their society. Outside of society, it becomes clearer what has internal value.

I like India because in Dharam Sala there are Tibetan courses, that is, courses that don’t focus on material things. There I met Tibetans who are not tied to a society, their value is not fixed, it is impermanent.

This year I met Rafa and the conversation began to talk about not knowing ourselves, and our illness. Well, I asked about the college. And she told me it’s biology.

Good when I told
about my dream about trees, and she told me about her studies about how trees have feelings.

Wow, when she told me about a study, I went to see it, and I even heard the sound of the tree. I cried with emotion. Plants cry. Plants even listen. Some of the studies I saw were in Israel.

From the day I heard and saw the study I started touching the trees. As well as love for the world.

Well, because I wanted to tell you both. Because my friend from Israel who defends Palestine, and I cannot be critical of our reality like the Trees, and the indigenous people are being killed.

But one word made the agent wake up.

I can avoid reality television whenever I want to demonstrate one. The only thing I can see, in my reality, is that the sea came almost close to home, and I can’t fight the sea.

Now what I can do is admire nature, and I can even plant to try to balance nature. It is observing how a nation is a form of prison, of distancing itself from others.

Any struggle is to free ourselves from our mind. It’s holding us back from compassion.

Just as my Russian friend does not defend his country’s war. As a man I met last year who is in the Czech army, he could perhaps be sent to defend Ukraine. He explained Zelensky’s hypocritical story to me.

Just as many Jewish friends don’t like Netanyahu, and few Palestinians are from Hamas

So, like my Jewish friend who defends Peace, like my Russian friend who doesn’t want to destroy Ukraine, I would never go to war, and I understand how indigenous people have always respected nature.

So I stay close to the Trees, I try to hear their peace. All we can do is plant ourselves on the street, at home and know that our fight is to understand that our born war is meaningless. It was always about economics

Our destruction of our land is not about the nation, it is about the selfish people of money, and they don’t even realize how all of nature is changing, everyone in this world.

I think this is when we should be together with nature. So we can live. Because if we don’t help the earth and nature, human beings won’t even exist

Love,
Jules

My city is São Paulo, or rather I was born here and my parents live here. São Paulo is a very important city in Brazil.

But I always ran away from my city. Even though it’s a city, people like to have work and money.

This is where it makes us feel like we are outside of ourselves. I guess it as where it does to describe to another. Like the important cities of the world. Like NewYork, Amsterdam, which are not the capital of the country. In other words, it is far from nature.

I’ve been here for 2 days. As soon as I became desperate, I began to feel something that made me observe, and the Silence became weak, and I heard that here I was articulated and declining who we are. It’s not about keeping silent about meditating, it’s about making your mind think of various thoughts without silencing your soul. That’s how I felt on the first day in Sao Paulo.

It makes me observe, because so many people don’t even want to observe human beings. So many people I see looking at people in despair. If I say good morning, they look outside

Worse was hearing people talk about their fear of being robbed, broken, and killed.

So it made me think about the philosophies, I teach drawing of Taoism. It made me observe that with any word we need to see it another way.

We have to weaken the fact that reality comes from television. Those conversations I heard yesterday made me focus desperately. My battery ran out, and André said he would arrive at 5. At 6 I started to get angry, then afraid that it had disappeared.

To make matters worse, my battery died, and I didn’t know André’s number by heart, and my parents are in Europe

So at my parents’ house, I went looking for everything negative. I went to see that it was my room and it was all my brother’s

After loading I forgot the password. So at 9 pm I asked the Doorman if I could call my parents. I knew it was very late in Italy but I called.

My father was worried that I was nervous. He called André and told me he was working and was fine.

Well, happiness came and suddenly my anger came.

I went to look for a massage at night, it turned into washing my hair with a massage. I asked the woman what to do to calm her mind. She said she knows how to give a head massage. Temporary peace came.

When we slept, I was happy. When I went to call my parents the next day, they knocked me down, saying that I was no longer capable of doing anything like I used to be. ,etc . The revolt returned.

Well, the revolt returned, but I thought that from everything I’ve been through, people don’t devalue me

So, I didn’t want to do what I was doing, I remembered the people who have peace within themselves, and shared it with others.

I remembered the people I met around the world for peace, André’s family came, who always returned all the spirituality of nature. Cecilia’s luck made me one of my new friends who aren’t stuck in the material, Ana Paula for Buddhism, Paulo for Tantra.

So, it made me understand that this fall made me find seeing.

In my coma, the Goddess, or Tara or my mind said “Do you want to live?” I said “Yes” and she asked me why. I said “I wanted it because of my grandmother, and my boyfriend at that time.

Saturday, when they will ask me if I was afraid of a coma, of death.

And it made me think, I’m not afraid of having another coma and death.

I love living, but this question why because I want to live.

Today I would say “Yes, I like living, because of the ability to evolve my anger, my mind and open my ego and continue to be compassionate to everyone and give back to nature. “

Only through the fall do we see the beauty of Life.

So these days I met Fatume, who is our friend’s mother. I started talking and she told me that she came from Lebanon, having fled her country.

The conversation was long and she asked me what life was about.

I was quiet and it took a while for me to say it. “I say I don’t believe in God”

She said “You don’t like a word, but it’s just a word. I used to be a Buddhist, but I still call it Allah. You can call it any word. Think it’s love. I see that in you.”

Wow, tears came out. That touched me. Because it was the tear of love. Like this
We look into the eyes of the soul.

São Paulo is just a word, our vision is love.

With love,
Jules

It took me a while to write, because the speed takes over me when I hear something terrible, or worse because I heard about an earthquake.

When I heard it, I immediately called my friend Moon, who has been my friend since 2001. Morocco is within me because I have friends, and my teacher who made me understand about decolonizing the mind. More profoundly, it is my first epileptic attack, which I had in 2006 in Marrakech.

The word still said that the earthquake was in Marrachech. So I went to read what it was un earthquake

I kept quiet, because we must calm the mind, I still wanted to understand, how my mind became nervous, anxious. I decided to stop and understand what it meant « is the result of a sudden release of energy in the crust of planet Earth, generally due to the clash between tectonic plates, which creates seismic waves. «

It made me feel, which is strong because an epileptic attack is like my first epileptic attack at Moon’s house, and it was the first time that I didn’t have control over my brain, and energy and I started to know that it was the path of our ignorance.

But, in this fall, I began to learn that we should not focus on the negative, because learning the essence of our existence is neither in our land nor in our body. But we will learn this slowly.

When my friend Leila Alaoi, who in addition to having lived with me in the USA, we went to college together, and when I lived in London, visited me. When I had my first coma in 2013 in Thailand, it lasted 30 days and I almost died. When I was in São Paulo, my mother said that she called me every day to talk. Leila came to my wedding in 2015. In 2016, when she was killed and she was photographing Ono, I went to the hospital after losing my friend.

The teacher of my class in the USA was “Decolonize the mind” which became the name of my Blog, transplanting thoughts, Decolonize the mind. Moon, Leila and Mustapha are from Morocco.

It was after my fall that I learned from my brain injuries that I went to India 2007. It was at a time of despair. And I even took a class from the Dalai Lama and I continue to respect it because all Tibetans made me learn that in a battle it’s with ourselves.

And it was in India that I started learning to meditate. And I confess, sometimes I forget, I get lazy, until I avoid it, but my body makes it come back, when I start thinking about philosophies. Sometimes it makes my mind tired. But when emptiness comes, peace comes.

But that’s when I get angry, and wanting to control my injury, we have to learn compassion from our mind. I learned from Lama to observe the mind.

Then I also realize that neither medicine nor the hospital can solve my hallucinations. I’ve already said this, even in the hospital, and observation is difficult. Now, otherwise I’ll balance it out. Sometimes the brain gets tired and we should sleep at least 8 hours. And if you’re still tired, sleep more. But when you can, meditate.

My dear ones, don’t think that anything is negative. Any fall, we have to observe that all our falls are our possibility of knowing how to observe.

I am a person who makes a thousand mistakes, anger, etc. But. If I follow this path, our situation will be worse. It took days, years, but I began to understand.

So, poetically, an epileptic seizure is the result of a sudden release of energy in the crust of planet Earth, usually between tectonic plates, which creates seismic waves. And a possibility to observe the speed of our mind. In an epileptic attack, in addition to feeling, comes the speed of my reaction that makes me lose more.

As I poured hot water into my cup of tea, I remembered putting it in a deep dish of ice water, where I left ice and water, and trying to watch my mind, focus on the ice and think about cold water. I went from being burned to calming my mind. And I already feel much better.

We owe even more to respecting our land, our nature and sometimes we want to dominate, and not respect nature. And as my teacher Mustapha says, we need to decolonize the mind. I hope that my friends from Morocco, in that moment of loss, of fear, we have the possibility of knowing the beautiful things of loss.

Loads Love, 

Jules

The inner beauty, it takes time to see it, even if I have to see it from the inside, it seems that I can’t see the glasses, and maybe imagining it seems it’s blurry inside the mind.

Well, when we are on this path, we don’t care much about external beauty, because when we fall out of our body, we notice almost nothing of what we thought before.

So I look for my inner beauty. It was my fall that makes me present.

So, I want to share, as I have many friends, in spirituality and they will share with me, that a fall is even a gift.

As the Hospital is almost my hotel, I tell everyone to try to meditate, and there’s also a mirror there and you can’t see it. I began to see the attendants, doctors, nurses, cleaners with more compassion.

Because despite my losses, my brain injuries, the pain. But now I see how difficult it is for everyone to come every day when they come to take care of the sick person. And how they had to deal with all the pain and the anger and the rage and the death. I started to be quieter with the attendants. I try to be less in the ego.

At the beginning of my fall, it was in 2007, but today in 2023 I am grateful for my falls and I see what I had learned and I did not realize the value of teaching.

In 2008 I became friends with Lama Lobsang, and he told me “everything you said to me is a gift in everything in your life.”

I said that even my first diagnosis and said “it will make you learn to be present”.

Well, I was disgusted, distressed. After all, because he couldn’t understand, or worse, he knew that he should have gone through tougher things.

And it was even tougher because I knew that he was from Tibet and had gone through deep problems, of the body, as it is the kind of torture, but Lama Lobsang is very compassionate.

But these years there are some words that my new friends will help me a lot.

“Let the thought flow.” She doesn’t even imagine, when she gave the freedom of the mind, I started to realize and managed not to follow the thought in meditation, and it made me aware.

And another friend I met in Asia was from Israel and was arrested in Japan. He was a drug dealer, and in Japan he was imprisoned for years and could not speak, read and be alone. “ “We have to learn who we are, money is nothing, the body is nothing, the hardest prison is with ourselves. But when he manages to discover himself, he will even be in prison.” So did he learn people to free the mind.

The last time I ended up in the hospital with a brain injury was in 2021. It was right around the time that my good friend Sho died.

I suffered a lot from losing my friend, but today I see it in a way, it was sad, and beautiful. Sho is from a family in India, and he and I have lived in many countries and we always feel like we are an outsider. Sometimes it seems to me that he is even more present.

As we went to college in NY, we later found ourselves in different areas of the world. When I was trapped in neither human religion nor philosophy. I went to see what Sho used to say, so I could free myself from everything in my mind.

I went to listen to Sho’s whats words.

Fundamental difference between religion and spirituality explained in a photo.

As he said “The difference of a religion is how

Aquarium. , and spirituality is the Ocean.

You know, after my friend’s death it made me feel that spirituality is on my side. The Lama from Nepal appeared in Ubatuba, then my friend Rodrigo came and brought Chopra’s meditation, and then a Tantra nun came and then a group of women we are in Chopra’s philosophy.

It was even shocking, I even left and came back. The mind even makes you tired sometimes. But tired of gratitude.

Of a beauty, that a loss sometimes perceives and is not even seen from the outside. Maybe who we are, and when we discover our inner beauty and that we are equal. Maybe it’s from when we managed to accept everything that still feels like we are one in this universe.

With Love

Jules

.

.

Loads of love
Jules

My cognitive dream, this time it was like for people to rent and to destroy the tree.

My house is in front of the sea, but when they rented it, they wanted to have a wedding, and they decided to cut down a tree. The tree is old and beautiful, but people don’t respect nature.

They started to destroy the tree, the tree started to singing to me , saying Jules, jules. I asked immediately.

They were not respecting me, I was so angry and knowing how they can I not respect the nature.

This people who rented my house , and started to ask help of God. I asked help for the sea, and for the nature.

I sang “Sea, you can destroy my house, but you can help the tree.”

The sea asked also help of the wind, and the wind asked asked help of rain.

The tree said “Jules come up the tree, you will survive now.”

I came up the tree.

Dao came together , and very slowly .

The rain started strong, and people to destroy another tree. The wind was even hard and people when cut, the coconut fall, and the wind felt them falling in the people who where cutting. “ Action and Reaction

The bird sang, that few human beings know that they have many gods. Dao (my cat) said that here she knows the sun, the moon, the earth and the sea. But one tree said it has many others, and none appear to be a human being.

This was my dream, it made me think a lot, what does it mean.

So I decided to walk around the city and see the trees. I was watching by chance, I saw a store with trees and when I entered, I saw a lady who was so hostile. I was surprised, but wanted to keep my mind at peace.

She was so unfriendly was the clerk at the place where they sold trees. When I was looking at a tree, I was really surprised, it was a big tree, and I said I wanted to plant it. And she told me it was for decoration.

My reaction was to tell me about my dream, she ignore me. I told to explain to my mind. Even I try to remember all that I have seen what in my life. But I remember, I should not think about negative things. It will control my mind.

I remember it was great, it reminded me of that inside of me. I decide to walk , to meditate and to write. I started to observe what I sea. I was wondering, what I think so much of the treas.

When I got to my house, and I saw it, it made me think that my house was made of trees. But I didn’t even know what it was called. My mother told me she was from Ypêit, my husband said he was from Peróba.

But when I started to ponder, and to sea the trees. I remembered when I went to look at the trees at the base of my house, awareness came. My hose it is made by deforestation made me understand my own understand.

It made me remember that my home is by nature. I kept thinking about what the birdhouse would be like, where the animals that roam the trees.
I remember of the cata, Monkey, Koala
squirrel, Laziness, Panda, Bear.

It reminded me of fruits, which we eat, and animals too. It reminded me of the Ocas Indigenous people and that it was their home.

And then it made me remember that when Sidarta found the mind, it was close to the tree.

But the tree makes me understand the basis of consciousness. It makes me think how my dream makes me observe how decorating is wanting to demonstrate to the other, not to oneself. The tree is the base of our Ocas, and the reaction and action. We have to plant the trees.
To begin with, think that it is the trees that will achieve emptiness and Compassion for all of us.

Love
Jules

These days, all of a sudden, everything we discussed, the wind came here in Ubatuba, in Brasil. I, who live in front of the sea, went to look and saw the tree arguing, going back and forth. She looked like my mirror. But I didn’t even notice.

I kept looking, recording and seeing how long that war between the trees and the wind would take, and I went to the bathroom and listened to the things that were breaking. André (my husband) and I were in different places in the house. We asked what broke. The house was closed, and we saw nothing.

Well, we didn’t find the one that was broken, but the one that made me think about how nature is far beyond how we are.

It made me think because, before the wind, André and I were arguing strongly, but seeing nature made me angry. I remembered that in places there in cities and so many people with so much fear, negative, and so many beautiful things.

So, when I opened the house the other day, I saw the glass on the side of the house and it was attacked by the tree, but I remembered that we shouldn’t even think about negative things. I’ve even learned from the Tibetans that it’s the way to harm yourself.

It reminded me of beautiful things, it made me think of the things I’ve learned from the encounters I’ve seen these days.

I learned from my friend Ana Paula that there are two birds in the Bird, one with Emptiness and one with Compassion.

And I found these words, “The two parts of genuine acceptance—seeing clearly and holding our experience with compassion—are as interdependent as the two wings of a great bird. Together they allow us to fly and be free.”

I also heard from a 99 year old lady who made me think, she said of her life. She she said “it’s a particle with consciousness.”

Every day I see people who have stopped having to prove anything, but still trying to find out why we live and who we are.

He was also at a 95th birthday party and he told me when he saw a girl and said “I don’t know if she’s my son’s girlfriend, but there are times when we shouldn’t say anything.”

I confess, like so many people talk about God, I feel very uncomfortable hearing from God.

Now when my friend said that it was really stuck in my mind. I told I heard from a friend that the word god, karma etc, helped me to take the fear out of words, she said “it’s still stuck in your mind.”

So when I met Fatume these days, she’s from Lebanon and has been in Brazil for 41 years. Our conversation was about everything. We talked about Islam. She told me and she is Muslim she told me allah ( god).

She asked me what I think about existence. “I said that I’ve read many philosophies and theologies, since I almost died, sometimes I don’t even know if I’m on earth. What I do know is that I know almost nothing, I don’t even know why I live.” No sadness, but I don’t know who we are.

I realize that sometimes when I clear my mind, then the person tells me.

And all the time I’m finding the petals (the people less trapped in traditions) the people who say I’m love appear. Fatume, he told me, it doesn’t matter what the name of a thing is. For her it’s Allah, for me I never knew, maybe a spirituality, with love and freedom.

But I know when I get angry, upset I do everything I shouldn’t.

Mrs. Futama, told me that she has a connection with God and I felt “almost no one will understand. But I understand, Only we are crazy. “

Tears came out of both of us. Mine was happiness, love.

Who knows that one day I am a particle of emptiness, and then I don’t even react when the words of the other see that it’s a mirror that recognizes and has disappe. But if we want, we have to decolonized our mind

Love , Jules

Life is wonderful, and sometimes when we have a fall.
Of course, it’s not during the fall, but when we’ve already accepted the fall. When we see the flow, and it makes us observe that in our fall it makes us learn who we are. So, I started trying to listen to the trees, and understand what’s inside the soul.

Well, when I’ve told about my comas, and people are sorry. Before they called me that I’m sick, now they think I’m a foreigner here in Brasil

I love it, because at the end of the falls, as I spoke several languages, and I also lived many years in different areas of the world, now with my fall I make mistakes, change accents and laugh. So my Oca is around the world, and it’s from several areas of my mind. So I can learn to be more present.

Well, I was at the organic fair, here in Ubatuba and it is in the place of trees, there are foreigners who live here. And there’s food, creams, art, music and those who don’t want to be trapped in common tradition.

When I went to speak like a woman, and I thought I know.
I went to say “Wow, I don’t know if I remember you, but you know how I had comas, I’m in doubt.”

So, she told me “It could be, but as I have autism, and I don’t even leave the house much, but psychology made me succeed. But I like to make art, from nature.”

People, who do not like to talk about falling, did not understand the depth of our conversation. Well, the two of us are neither afraid nor ashamed of our falls, so he came to talk without sadness. we are already free. And learning beautiful things., out of the fall. We talk about the trees.

I was telling about my dream, which I wrote about in my last post. It was from living on another planet that the goddesses were the trees and spoke like music.

She loved it because her college was biology, and she made art from wool animals from nature. So parents could take it. So beautiful, and such a depth of thought.

A conversa foi indo, como quer deixar a arte que é leva, e não que deixa os pais com a televisão . Nossa, ficou a nossa conversa.
Quando mostrei meu post do Planeta das Árvores, ela adorou e me disse que viu um estudo e me mandou.

Wow, when I saw An emotion came to me , a gratitude . Today I saw that the wind, the trees talking

The Rafa I met sent me,

“To listen to the plants, researcher Lilach Hadany, from Tel-Aviv University in Israel, and members of her team, placed tobacco and tomato plants in small boxes with microphones.”

The unbelievable ways plants use the same senses as humans.

Plants can sense a lot about their environment and it can cause them stress. Unlike most humans and animals though, when plants face predation, damage, or environmental changes they can’t run away and hide. “

And I went to send it to my friends, and it came
and came to talk another anthropologist sent me as she knows in Kerala, India.
And I learned that the indigenous people here also talk to the trees

It reminded me of my PhD and going to Israel and Palestine and not thinking about trees. I left the LSE and thought there would never be peace.

It reminded me of my friend Pai Chi Chi, who I hosted at Coch surfing in London and visited me here in Brazil.

He traveled for years, but he told me something I never understood.

“Jules, you are very different from the one who hosted me.”

I remember I said “Why did I think of celebrating China’s New Year,“

“I don’t know if you’ll understand.”

I said
“Try” had been at home for a few days.

“You are bright, beautiful, positive,”

I thought it was great, I wasn’t doing a doctorate and I had a scholarship, but I abandoned.

“Imagine a tree, an old tree that has flowers”

I thought it was beautiful, but he completed it

“when the tree up there will have a petal of a different color, you will feel alone because few people will understand you, and neither will you and others”

Although, that was before the coma I couldn’t forget it. That marked me and I didn’t even understand.

But now, when I found another petal and it doesn’t even cling to anything. There we meet because it gives us the fall we can understand.

I saw the movie “Coda” these days. So beautiful, it was a deaf family and a hearing daughter. This daughter sings and has a very beautiful voice. When she won over all the students in the school, her father saw the admiration of the others, he doesn’t understand, since he is deaf.

When they were home, he asked his daughter to sing. He asked to listen to the same song, which was in school. When she sang, he was touching the parts of her body, to hear the music by moving her body, breathing, soul.

And when I now the wind makes the trees listening, I touch the trees and try to listen to your breath, your sound, your music. Now when I find another Petals comes peace.

Love, Jules

Yesterday I had a dream that made me think.

I dreamed of Guto, and we were on another planet, and we were walking and we saw an Oca and on one side there was a dinosaur of a human being.

The planet we saw the trees, and there were animal beings too. There were rivers and sea.

I woke up laughing that it is the trees that are the Goddesses. I remember the last word, I asked Guto if he wanted to reincarnate here, or go back to earth. Guto replied: “I’d rather stay here, I’m gay, you’re a woman, we’re very undervalued on Earth, I’d rather stay like a tree.” The tree seemed to be playing like Bebe by Hermeto Pascoal.

So when I went to write it, I put the music on and it felt like a flower, a tree that takes time to grow and grow and evolve.

But when I went to send it, I was thinking about the symbols.

I haven’t seen Guto for a long time. We met at LSE College in London.

Guto, in addition to having a degree in anthropology, is a diplomat. Then
he knows what goes beyond the distinction of the Amazon.

I did cognitive anthropology, I also studied music, and a bit of international politics got me thinking about my mind. Mainly because I already had 2 comas and brain destruction.

.
I think we love nature and we like the freedom of the mind and we are not victims of any philosophy or theology.

And out of nowhere a friend spoke to me about the word uncertainty. There she made me understand the dream. The base is from another land, hollow like our mind. That we need to be on the side that values ​​us in the same way

The most interesting thing is that in this dream we began not to speak, we managed to communicate without language. Our admiration for trees that don’t need a tongue.

And we who have fled to another planet, even more so than the ones I control. We stayed there in the silence, of the mind. Every escape is because it won’t get stuck in anything, not even in our mind that we want.

Love, Jules

I’m feeling back to the way I am, until one day I was told my brain wouldn’t come back.

But it wasn’t even colleges, medicine, countries, cultures, courses, families, religions. It’s the people who know me inside and out and make me see.

These people know about my revolt against something. Every time, upset, I ran away.

I could make an escape list. Maybe a coma is even an escape from myself.

But I am looking in my mirror and feeling gratitude from my friends who have seen me again. And gratitude to my new friends who already know I ran away and ask me where I am.

Sometimes, not even talking, but that escape is finding our mirror.

And as the Taoists say
“He who knows does not speak; he who speaks does not know.”
Lao Tzu

With love and gratitude to those who made me known, I now look in the mirror and accept what I didn’t see before.

With love,
Jules