Today a strong thing happened to me. I went to the organic fair with André and Josélia. As I looked at the ingredients and I explained that I did not know what it was for Joselia, a lady came to talk to me loudly.
“If you don’t recognize these vegetables why are you coming to this fair?”
She said it in a strong way. And I answered delicately.
“I told her that I’ve had 2 comas. I had lost many areas of my brain. If I ever knew, I don’t know anymore. ”
She said strongly.
“You put yourself in prison.”
I was angry. And I started to say:
“You do not understand. In the second coma, I would not open eyes, talk, walk, I was not present. I have brain failures, and you don’t understand. ”
And she strongly say:
“See how you hold yourself. And you likes it. ”
I was angry, and André and Joselia left me to go shopping at the fair, I stay and this lady tells me.
” I’ll teach you something.”
She held my clothes by the back. And she said
: “Julieta, walk! “
I explained that I couldn’t. She tells me.
“You need to learn to meditate and let go of the past”
I explain that I’ve done vipassana, gone go to India, met the Dalai Lama, and done meditation, etc.
And she still strongly told me,
“Do you see you’re still getting stuck in the past ???”
I confess I got mad. And I said calmly but feeling angry,
“You don’t understand me.”
And she said “I am a neurologist and I am 80 years old.”
” What’s your name?”
” What is the difference? I hope one day you will learn not to imprison yourself !!
I got out angry in silence. I left and went to Joselia and André. It took hours for me to understand and be grateful.
The other week another doctor I had mat at the fair taught me how to do something different.
It should be something what I had never done before, that would activate my brain. It was delicate and wonderful.
Today it was so hard, it took hours for me to understand and think that the 80-year-old lady, who gives me her time to make me be present.
I didn’t even say thank you, I ran out and just writing I’m grateful. Why is it so hard to let go of the past and be present? I hope one day we will be able to break free from ourselves.