The picture I remember the most is one that I simply never took it in 2010. I was in Israel and my friend Netanel told me so much. And suddenly he decided to take me to the ceiling of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. While Jerusalem was full of tourists the ceiling of the church was empty. There is a village there. Netanel explained to me there was an Ethiopian village there. He explained that it dated to queen Sheba and Solomon. I was shocked by this story and suddenly I could see something like an open house. I walk towards it. The door was a green cross. It was open. I could see many black priests. They set in silence. I was taken aback. I had a camera but I felt I should not take a picture. I would take an eternal picture. I stood in silence looking for so many minutes. I never took it. Yet it is the picture I know the most. I remember the temperature. The colours. The door. The people. I never took a picture. I felt I was rather blessed to be so lucky to be taken by my friend who is Jewish, I was an atheist and we were watching the silence of the Ethiopian Christians. I felt I was in a sacred moment. There was no need to take pictures of it. The value would be taken away by a simple photo.
Why do I say this now? I have just returned from Brazil. I got a call at night to find out that my grandmother was sick. I ran to the airport and took the first plane. For a month I spent almost every single second with my grandmother. I barely did not use facebook and whatsapp. When I went to see my friend and neurologist we spoke about the disease of this period on the world. Depression, auto-imune etc. She told me her 8 year old wanted to have a cell phone. She gave her daughter an option. Either a phone, or the reality of life. The 8 year old preferred real life. She told me that a cell phone was rather terrible for the development of a child.
As I came home I started to think about what on earth was the phone doing to me, to us to adults? Adrenaline, dopamine, anxiousness, growth of Ego. I started to think about how many people stay all the time with a phone in their hands. How many times have I distracted myself from what I need to deal with?
Immediately it became clear to me how controlled I felt by it. It made me realise that my phone beeped so many times and it took me away from where I was. How nervous I had become by sending a message? how anxious I would become while waiting an answer? How many groups was I invited to be in? How many messages? So I made a drastic decision. I would try to cut it and be out.
I started to remember my time in India. I had no phone. I remember that I usually sent collective e-mails because I loved writing but I never felt like I had to be telling people where I was all the time.
So, when I sent a message in portuguese ,English that I would block everybody. And I would no longer use Facebook for one month. I wrote saying that I was rather concerned of how hard it would be but things happened rather interestingly.
My parents agreed. My father suggested going back to letters. My dear friend Paula sad I should not block e-mails. Laura understood it. Fellipe understood it. Alondra told me “You have my number when you are close you call. Michal also understood it. My dear friends fully understood it.
People who barely know me were against. So, it makes sense, they don’t know me nor the life that I love.
I love the life that does not collaborate with planning, nor norms, nor etiquette, nor codes. I love the life where you simply love life. We accept the falls, the pains, the losses the diseases. And we gain through this path friends all over the world. Every single one of them know that facebook images of loves, like etc does. What matters is the present momen. Life is like a river. I guess I want every single one totally free to be not trapped by codes.
To be quite honest in less than a week it is already great. I do not feel like to go back to whatsapp, nor Facebook.
Dr Karen is partially correct.She says Children is not adequate to be online and to have a phone. I would add nor am I? It disturbs my sleep. my eating. my emotions. my relationships. my ability to be where I am.
I am realistic to know that for many people it is very important for their work. However, there is a way to limit it. My life has become much better without whatsapp. Without facebook.
The reason why I spoke of that picture it is simply because I was there. I remember so well. I put so much effort to put it inside of me. I know the smell. I know the temperature. I remember these men. The thousand of pictures I have I look and does not mean much. It is just a photo. I feel like I have landed once again in reality.