When I thought of writing, it reminded me of Dr Getulio. I already had so many blogs and told of the stories of the people I met
doctor Getulio Rabello used to tell me “You who speak well, write but I am the doctor, if you wrote about what you feel and what happens it would help me and the other patients.
There’s no way not to forget how Getulio was, and I always ran away from medicine.
But even if he wasn’t present, in my mind and so many people who knew him.
Now writing what happened to me is difficult to write, but I won’t give up trying, it’s not a struggle.
Because it is fundamental not to be a fight. Every fight is a fight with another, but every time I see it, it’s trying to make peace. That’s how I see any fight, it’s an internal fight and they’re very stimulated.
So, I’ve been thinking about it. There are tests in schools, in college, in childhood, and I always get into discussions. And when I ended up in the hospital it was related to a person who started to get more irritated and I ran away. Harder when I lost close friends and Dr. Getúlio.
I remember once playing the piano and doing alternative medicine. I was playing, and I don’t even know very well but it was giving me adrenaline and the energy rose, I felt that my hand was on the right arm and it went up and down with my face on the piano.
I went to Hospital Samaritano in 2013 because of a fall on the piano.
I remember it very well, because my parents were there, but Dr. Getúlio got angry when I told him I was without Fenobarbital . He asked to speak with me alone.
I was calm, I was already calm. And Getúlio told me “Julieta, you are not going to be my patient, and if you don’t take medicine seriously, you can choose and you will want to destroy yourself. You will make your choice. ”
I stayed with Getúlio, but I was writing my book about my discussions in the Middle East and the rest of the world. This adrenaline increased a lot. Neither mine marked by the face marked by falling face down on the piano, it was the adrenaline of my rush in our life, in my mind
And my arguments always got me in. But one day I thought of Getúlio and I walked out of nowhere and asked the clerk is Getúlio here? Maybe a spirituality but he kept thinking about it.
I entered the hospital, asked the secretary, is Getúlio here? She was silent and I said “Getúlio died.” . She agreed and I went into the hospital and asked where the family was. I atheist went up and saw Janete who was Getúlio’s secretary, and his wife his, and a doctor , that I do not know.
It knocked me over, and there was my stability person. Getúlio, I had already realized that almost everything discouraged me because emotional things
So, I’m sharing, how many internal wars when it seems calm, it’s far from peace. Even when I meditate and when I hear voices, hallucinations, dreams. Then I realize that I realize that we have to leave our voice of silence.
So when I lost Getúlio I went back to the hospital and there wasn’t even a doctor and in search of knowing what I have. And every time I had to see my blood. But red is very important to understand
But it’s not easy to let yourself be silent, but I realize that it helps me to do anything that has freedom and not prove anything. Draw, the garden, the sky, and prove nothing to yourself. Let things take their time.
I think about the red I love and try. Before I thought about politics, later it was reported that it was considered red.
But red was important because many believed in communism but red was considered part of art, many religions, sexuality, Asia etc.
In the Shinto religion of Japan, In Christianity, red is associated with the blood of Christ and the sacrifice of martyrs. In the Roman Catholic Church it is also associated with Pentecost and the Holy Spirit.
It is particularly associated with the benefits of practicing Buddhism; achievement, wisdom, virtue, fortune and dignity. He was also believed to have the power to resist evil. In China, red was commonly used on temple walls, pillars and gates.
And today I have a house with red, and almost like a temple. The place where I meditate and meet people on the same path.
When Dr. Getúlio passed away, I saw Dr. Rodrigo for the first time in 2016. I already had the second coma, the revolt with medicine, like medicine, hallucinations, pain and also. I also abandoned medicine, and without a Doctor. But the last time my grandmother lived in Ubatuba, I had taken Gardenal out and went to Samaritano in 2020.
Then I discovered Dr. Rodrigo Holanda, who is calm and put up with my explanations and I consider my thoughts, and he is the doctor who brought me back. I had seen him when Getulio died, but years later he became my doctor.
But that year my grandmother, without saying a word, left me as a gift in front of the sea. And from here I never fell. I start to learn new things and try every medication.
In those years I got to know Dr Rodrigo more and I didn’t stop taking medicine but I ended it when I had an internal war. Accept yourself.
But for me, what now I feel is every time I feel the adrenaline I take a breath and watch how the blood is red and floats. It doesn’t matter inside or outside the hospital. But I don’t abandon it because I know I have to make a balance between the brain and the mind.
I know that blood is like impermanence and it moves. And I see that it is a mourning with myself. With each meditation I have to
observe. And in a way that the way the red one I know I’m alive. Watch yourself.
And life is the most sacred thing we have. We just have to abandon our war with ourselves. And so red is inside and outside. So come visit me 🙂
With Love , Jules