Our memories makes us realise we barely change. To evolve maybe is to accept we usually have different perceptions.

For so many years I have not spoke to my my dear friend Petlis. Pet is from HongKong and we studied at the Hofstra in Long Island in NY. At that time I was there, the year was 2001.

Talking after more than 10 years we laughed a lot. I realised that we have changed almost nothing, even thinking that we have evolved with the lessons, the losses and the aging. 🙂 So we laugh because we talk in Whatsapp in the same style of the past. It has been been many years that we have not talked and we had no face and Whatsapp talks before.

Pet came here to Brazil and I went to HongKong many years ago. We went to college together, to see Paris and London. That happened many years ago.

Pet reminded me that in HongKong I got sick from eating. I did not remember that.

When I told my grandmother who is 94 and she remembered that. She said I had a fever and I was more impressed that Pet and my grandmother remember it. My grandma told me that for over 10 years ago I had been impressed that Pet’s father had bought hundreds of movies, and books for me to see.

My grandmother telling me now and listening to Pet now, it made me remember it. Comes to my memory her house that I stayed in Hongkong. The bed I sat down and laid down as Pet’s father thought and saying I should rest before going out.

I remember now. Films in English, German, French and in other languages that I did not know. I did not know what languages they were. They were all in a Western style.

Today I understand. Having have traveled so often to Asia, I have become accustomed to seeing in letters that do not make sense to many Westerners people. So it was not easy for Pet’s father to give me books and movies.

Imagine how we could by for someone from Laos, from Vietnam, Burma, China, Thailand. 🙂 Of course in their language. So that made me realise how was wonderful kindness of Pet’s fathers had been to me.

It reminded me that I learned not to drink cold water there. I learned to drink tea. And to this day I do not like to drink anything cold. I had never realised where it came from.

And I love tea and coffee. And she tells Pet and my grandmother that I have not eaten for days and I did not remember that too. I know that here in Ubatuba in Brasil, now when I was feeling ache in my stomach and going a lot to the toilet to poop. I just stoped eating.

I resolved to be without

eating one day. I took

juice and fruits on the second day and on the third day I ate a little. So I feel super well.

When I talked to Pet, I laughed a lot. We laugh a lot because of what I remember with her, she does not remember and I do not remember what she remembers. This is deep friendship. Instead of defending yourself and saying it’s different. It is to accept that our perceptions are always different for a thousand of reasons.

When we abandon our vanity to think that we always know better, we begin to laugh and and have gratitude to return to memories and to understand that we always pay attention to different things.

Also here came to me my friend Angela who I also had not seen for a long time and just to see us together, we return to speak with the accent we invented in Itaunas, in Brasil before 2001.

How wonderful it is to return from the contacts of the past. Sundelly came to my mind my friend Maya, who is from Israel.

We met in Asia and I went to her house about 6 years ago in Israel. Now she’s a mother. She’s still with the same boyfriend I met, and I remember that so much.

I confess about my coma losses that makes me forget a lots of things. I tell her I wonder we had gone for them to buy a house on Israel’s border with Lebanon. I remember I was shocked that day. I tell her maybe my memory is a mistake.

She sends me a message on the face and she llaughs. And she says I did not change anything and she remembers this house that I had said was not a good idea.

I think it has a deep feeling. We do not forget.

Yesterday I went to buy a book for my grandmother who loves to read every day. I looked, I looked, I looked and when I saw here in Ubatuba a book of my favorite writer. Instead of buying a new one, I found a book by Dostoevsky.

Writing here I laugh. I love the Brothers Karamasov so much. I did not buy this book because my grandmother knows about it very well. I book another one by him.

I get one and I take a look and I see the story of Dostoyevsky. I knew he had been in jail. I knew he had written many books, I knew there was epilepsy in his book that I love. But I did not know Dostoyevsky was Epileptic.

It made me understand his books much more. His last book is what I love the most. Reading his story made me to see how much his life is there.

I write this laughing because we do not change anything. I still love the same things. Talking and seeing the same things.

My friend Lama Lobsang said that our greatest enemy was our best friend. They were ourselves. It is logical that the people closest to us know our reality better, but by their perceptions.

When we confront what they think they say we are, we become unhappy or angry. I have realized that we imagine that we have changed a lot. The hard part is to accept that we do not change much. Our qualities are the same, and our mistakes are the same.

Maybe evolving is to accepting the perceptions of others and the one of our greatest enemy is the same. It is ourself.

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