I really have to let go of this Chico thing in my mind.

But this time it’s difficult. I stayed with André and Chico and tried to eat in my little house, and he doesn’t even notice that everything is being eaten by the ant. Ju always stays by my side so I can eat, but she’s traveling like this. André doesn’t notice my anger, and this soft food that the ant makes. Or worse, does he notice my anger and wants me to evolve?

But it’s difficult, since Chico, even worse, has a chef’s palate and eats everything and invades all the food in the big house; he opens the oatmeal, the bread, the papaya, and these human beings can’t even imagine everything he invades. If I tried to stay close to André, he would go and run to get to everything.

It’s hard that they put me, like you, as a cat psychologist. And one hour into the office, three seconds later he jumps on another chair and I started doing the same thing with anger, hatred and worse, I’m not even like myself and I’m depressed.

I’ve been getting really sad about how I used to be, alone at home with birds, rats and possums visiting, and now Chico lives at home every day and he had even told me that I had to adapt. I had adapted to Gandhi who always comes to eat. Or rather, before everything was better, from this inpermanence they say, I couldn’t even imagine how it was before it was better. Is it time for me to realize how it will even be that more cats will appear?

But at least Jules understands. But I see that before I could go to the house in São Paulo, then to her friend Lu’s house, and to Joana Maura’s house and I wouldn’t do anything. But if Chico went to their house, he would do it until we cats could no longer exist. This time Ju went traveling and I had to stay home.

But because you made me think about what Jules means to me. And I never thought she meant anything. And that question made me forget a lot about Chico.

Even worse whenJules arrived and didn’t even see me, just looking at nothing very clear, as if she was like Chico too. Worse still, in the middle of the night I screamed because I wanted to catch a lizard.

But I could say that “My unbalanced words are the luxury of my silence.” Clarice Lispector

When she saw the lizard, she wanted to teach me that life has value, but then I saw the hypocrisy since Jules also put poison on the ant. Since she doesn’t want to let me kill the bird, and worse, the lizard, and she wanted to talk about beautiful things. Well, her psychology made me lose focus on Chico’s hatred, she turned to Jules who doesn’t even help me with what I want.

Well,

If you are on the right path, go forward; if you are on the wrong path, go back. Lao Tse

Recuo das reflexões, isso me afasta de estar presente .

Dao